Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Some Things That I Might Have Overlooked

I was reading some of my old attempts at new posts from the past year or so. It was an interesting collection. Some of them were the germs of great posts. Some were just trash. Some I didn’t even remember committing to virtual paper.

Since I have been absent for most of this month, I feel obliged to try, in my own humble way, to make up for it. So I’ve decided to send out the complete summary of all the articles I never got around to publishing, shotgun style.

Here goes (in no particular order):

1. Ode to Franklinton and Trudy Funk. I don’t rightly recall what it was that I had to say after reading the short blurb that appeared after this title, but it mentioned that Frank was away and I was going to compare that to a girl I knew in high school. It doesn’t hold up in the retelling and I can’t imagine what it was that I was going to say about Frank and this beautiful girl that I had a crush on and that later died in a motorcycle accident.
2. I took the test. This is something I posted but got no response on, so I have to assume that no one saw it. To sum it up, I took the test to see where I fell on the seven deadly sins. Greed: low. Gluttony: medium. Wrath: low. Sloth: high. Envy: very low. Lust: low. Pride: low. This sez: Money is only as good as what I can trade it for, I enjoy over-sized sandwiches, I’m pi**ed off at no one, I’m lazy, other people have nice sh*t and good for them, I’m not eighteen anymore, and, I have no shame.
3. Maybe I’m Wrong… This was a plea to all of my friends to help me write this blog.
4. PBR and the Liberal Education. This was a post about the movie M*A*S*H and how in the Korean “conflict”, (How can you have a “police action” with artillery?) and that the only beer there was to be had was PBR and how the t.v. show M*A*S*H was a major influence on my character and how I became the adult I am. It was to be very heady.
5. I Told A Lie Once… This was about the only time I have ever been arrested. It isn’t as interesting as it sounds, but I did have my revenge, and paid my fine in fifty-cent pieces. Ask me about it sometime, but I won’t publish it.
6. The Salon of Tiki. This was a dumb remark that I made one night at the Tiki that I had decided to turn into an article. We had spent the evening drawing, and I said to Frank that what he had started was what the French would call a salon. A collection of interesting and artistic people who get together and share ideas. At the time it seemed like a great topic, and now I don’t remember where I was going with it.
7. Una Soda. This is one of my early attempts at social commentary that warned of the danger of drinking too much and how to deal with the after affects. Perhaps I should show this one to Fat Wally?
8. Topics to Look Into… It was a list of things I thought that I needed to read, such as Roger Bacon, Isaac Newton, John Locke, and Thomas Hobbes. I’ve read some of it…
9. More 35. This was a continuation of my birthday post and contained everything I’ve learned about myself. Much like the one time I’ve been arrested, ask me about it and I’ll tell you, but I’m not going to publish it.
10. Letter to Jeff. This was a letter I wrote to an author. I have never written a “fan” letter before, or since.
11. Frank. This was a piece that I was to write from comments that Frank made one night and was never published because Frank asked me not to. With that in mind, I publish it in its entirety.
I, Frank Kevin Levar,
Why are the bottom feeders always on the bottom
Why isn’t the senate tested for drugs?
“ “ the president?
Living room colors
Ohio is fu
Urinate in the tree
The i.r.s can’t explain the law.
12. Beer on Ice. This was to be an article on how most people don’t enjoy ice in their beer and how I did it once and had a great time, but got in trouble with my family because I didn’t leave a note. (There was a gallon and a half of beer at stake people.)

Well that pretty well sums up everything that I have never written, up to date. Please, feel free to comment or ask questions. I’m sure that whatever answers I give will be far more entertaining than anything I might have written. I’m funny that way.



  1. I think you need to expand some of these ideas. We need more of Frank's take on the world. Also, figure out what you want to say about the Tiki as salon.

    I'm not sure there's an audience for Roger Bacon, Isaac Newton, John Locke, and Thomas Hobbes, though, unless you make it dirty or funny.

  2. I can make John Locke dirty (bondage), and Thomas Hobbes (his book "Leviathan" sez it all), but Roger Bacon was a monk and Isaac Newton was autistic. Not much fodder there.


  3. Jay-sus, man, what'cha DOIN' with your time?! I wann READ THIS SHIT! Write! Write like the wind!

    Or better yet, we can lend you Solenbum: he'll wake you up at 3 AM a bunch of times each week and you can use the time from 3 until 6 when he's jumpin' ay-round to write. That's what *I* do!


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