Monday, June 18, 2007

the tangled webs we weave - part VI

Mandy and I went to the club for the DJ set Chris was promoting. Once again, I happened to get too drunk and stayed way too is now 2:58 a.m.

Darius was there again, too, and I confessed to him how I felt about Chris and without going into detail, Darius told me to give up on it. The hurt I was looking so greatly to avoid looks as though it is the only inevitable end to this. I may be manipulated, "played by the playa", I be mooched from, I may be used. They are not doing very well right now, financially or personally. It is a great time for me to hussle my way into the picture and it is just as horrible a time at that.

So how much hurt can I handle? It is really going to be about her in the end, even though I am a much more dynamic person? Can I just be "flirting friends" until he figures out how much more extraordinary I am than what he has?

There were a lot of people there tonight and he didn't have much time to flirt with me; all we did was play "staring contest" a few times. He watched me dance, like he always does.

We were out in the car smoking before I left and he again kissed me goodbye. Again, he opened his mouth but I didn't open mine. I will next week now that I know to expect that from him and see how far I can get him to go with me. A tongue down the throat would be satisfactory.

The problem for poor Chris is that I'm smarter than him, and the need for self-preservation will prevent me from being manipulated. He needs to be afraid that I may manipulate him, which the more I think about it becomes a better I could have fun with this....and maybe end up with him anyway.

My brain is stronger than my heart, always has been. I will do my best to not get hurt and fight for what I want anyway. I have to fight foreverything else, why not this, too?


  1. you know, I think Flannery could find some advice from Amanda to help you out with this situation.

    Tongues down throats are always satisfactory.

    Didn't Doc request pictures about this series some time ago? Where the hell are they??

  2. Just alittle advice from a man who used to created and revel in his life's drma but has now outgrown them. These are good times. Enjoy them.


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