Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I Have Taken The Pledge!

I have climbed on the wagon. I know. I am as surprised as you are. But for the next two weeks, as a financial experiment, I won't be buying any beer. Now that doesn't mean I won't be drinking the cold ones I already have, as they have been paid for. Nor will I turn down a free one if it's offered, but I can't purchase any. No beer, no wine, or spirituous liquor.

Flannery threw down this little gauntlet and I have taken it up. She wants to see how much money we will save if this "luxury" is done away with. I tried to convince her that canceling the cable was the way to go but I may as well have been talking to a brick wall. She wouldn't budge. So I will be passing my time parched while she sits through "Dancing With The Stars".

In some small way I'm looking forward to the experiment, as it will prove a challenge and a test for my flimsy excuse of will-power. The redness in my eyes will clear up. I will want to go to bed early, as there won't be anything better to do. I will start to rise early in the morning and I will catch up on all my chores. In short, I will become healthy, wealthy, and wise.

But I don't want any of those things. I want a cold frothy beer that will comfort me in my daily troubles and will welcome me home like an old friend. I want to listen to the choir of angels sing in every "psttt" of a freshly cracked beer. I want to feel it's cold wet goodness sliding down the back of my throat and the subtle soft sting of it's kiss.

This is going to be hard. I sure hope she is going to be feeling extra randy these next two weeks. I'll be up dating you regularly as to my progress, and if you have any words of encouragement, or suggestions, I'd love to hear them.



  1. Give up Beer!?!?

    My god man, can't you at least have the power turned off or stop eating or something that at least makes some sense!!??

  2. How bout if a friend buys you a case? Is that acceptable?


  3. I never asked you to give up beer...just to cut back. Sheesh.

  4. Oh, you are in a pickle.

    Well, I would have not bought food rather then give up beer. Or, do without on the water bill. DO as my R neighbors do...bathe in the pool.

    God Bless You..
    Good luck


  5. Skyler's Dad- I'm living on Ramen Noodles and bologna now. There just wasn't any more to cut from the food bill.

    #1- The gift would be perfectly acceptable. Let me send you my home address...

    Flannery- As I recall, the conversation began like, "Look how much we could save if..." and my attention wandered from there. I was busy trying to remember the number for the cable company.

    BSUWG- I'm as shocked as you are.

    #2- I thought about going door to door and asking for booze for the poor, but the cops ran me off after a block or so.


  6. I was gonna say.....

    don't eliminate the important things, eliminate the less important things so you can still afford the more important ones. You won't see me giving up coffee or wine any time soon but the real crabmeat and Splenda are history.

  7. Ok, so do you have basic cable or any premium channels? If the latter, I say you cut back on that part of cable and then you get to spend the equivalent on beer.

    I so should have been a marriage counselor. Or international peace negotiator.

  8. I agree with Bubs. Time to start making your own beer. Who knows, it might even turn out to be a money-MAKING enterprise!

  9. Egad. It would be an interesting experiment for some Portlanders I met recently to try this challenge.

    They say the first week is the worst. keep us posted!

  10. I like Dancing with the Stars too, but I like beer more. Do away with cable and sell the TV for all the beer it'll buy!

  11. We actually did cut premium channels for beer funds...hehe.


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