Friday, November 21, 2008

"I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh!"

While researching another article, I came across this company that sells Hufu (pronounced who-fu), a soy-based food designed to taste and feel like human meat. Their slogan is, "I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh" and their pitch is, "Ever really wanted to know what human flesh tastes like, but bothered by things like a moral code or hindered by these things called "laws?" Scared off by the black market?"

Now who in their right freakin' mind would want to purchase this stuff you ask?

The company says it was originally conceived of as a product for students of anthropology hungry for the experience of cannibalism but deterred by the legal and logistical obstacles." It also suggests that it's a great way for "cannibals who want to quit". They say it tastes like beef, only sweeter, and not like pork or chicken.

I am not making this shit up. Look here. Or the company website, here.

I don't know if this would be good for Thanksgiving, but it is vegan and kosher. Perhaps Bubs could serve this up for his next Halloween party, as he seems to go all out every year.

Oddly enough, the web page I found this on had an ad for "Wholesale Prices on All Anvil Items Fast Shipping from Factory to You!" and I thought to myself, "Who would buy an anvil through the mail?" Apparently the same people who are looking for a flesh substitute.



**Editor's Note** According to Wikipedia, this is False, but has been floating about the web for two years now. Leave it to me to be the rube that hears this two years later and go WTF? Thank You Anonymous.



    Spoof product

  2. "Who would buy an anvil through the mail?"

    Wiley Coyote, of course. Now just find me a site where I can get an over-sized magnet, a rocket, and some rollerskates and we'll be in business.

  3. So it says....if you've never had human flesh before, it tastes like beef. Am I out of the loop or something? Am I in the minority of the non eating flesh category?

    This skeeved me on all levels.

    Doc, I learn something new from you everyday. Some things I really didnt want to learn.


  4. I wonder if all humans taste alike, or if there are differences between lean humans and fat humans, or humans from different parts of the world?

  5. I have soooo much to say about this, I could turn it into another blog, but here's the bullet points:

    ** what SORT of research went into this? I mean, did they use medical cadavers or just bite each other really hard??

    ** is long pork a red meat, like ostritch?? What wine do you serve with it-- dry or sweet?

    ** I have NEVER had ANY soy product that tasted or had the texture of beef or chicken, and I've eaten a LOT of that stuff. You cannot make a vegan product that would even taste like COW so how can you make it taste like PERSON?

    ** part of what makes cannibalism gross is that when people die they're usually OLD or DISEASED. The animals we eat, while raised in dirty conditions, are at least stupposed to be in good health. The thought of eating some old fart dead of cancer makes the idea of cannibalism for any reason (ancestor worship, the taking on of qualities of the deceased, whatever) as just GROSS.

    ** Different parts of a cow taste different. What's this HuFu supposed to taste like?? Arm? Leg? Rump roast? Briskit?? What about SkyDad's question: does a fat person taste better (because at least COW and PIG fat is tasty)? and did they take THAT into corn-sidderation??

    Finally, because I'm such a damned weirdo, I WOULD eat some HuFu if someone ELSE spent the $$$ on it and offered me some. I not curious enough to cough up the cash to taste it myself-- Tofurky was bland and boring and dissatisfying and EXEPENSIVE enough of an x-periment for me already.

  6. Looks like the first link in my comment didn't work. Here:


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