Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My Dad's One St. Patrick's Day Joke

While my dad was an accomplished storyteller, he was terrible at telling a joke, even though he knew a million of them and had kissed the blarney stone. (I have photos) I could never understand why one skill wouldn't translate into another, but the fact remained, he was a poor joke teller. His stories would roll along with a comfortable ease that most people can't achieve with practice, but his jokes often fell flat even with forty years of retelling.

He had one that he told every St. Patrick's Day that bears repeating.

Pat and Mike get together to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and get good and drunk to commemorate to occasion. The next day, Mike wakes up to find himself in the hospital in a full body cast and Pat comes to see him. "What the feck happened to me?" Mike asks.

"Well, you and I were celebrating the day and you had a wee bit too much to drink," Pat explains. "Late in the evening, after many, many drinks, you went to the window and threw it open and took bets that you can fly around the bar."

"We were on the fourth floor!" Mike exclaims, "Why didn't you stop me?" he pleads.

"Stop you Hell!" Pat exclaims, "I was bettin' you could do it!"


P.S.- St. Patrick is credited with driving the serpents out of Ireland. What they don't tell you is that Ireland never had any serpents to begin with, other than the English, and even he couldn't drive them out.


  1. My English heritage requires me to challenge you to a duel now. I chose beers at 10 paces...

  2. *snort*

    Beer all over. (except i'm off of it for lent!)

  3. Heh.

    2 Irishmen are sitting next to each other in a bar on the northwest side of Chicago, drinking away. After a while one of them turns to the other and comments that he can tell he's from Dublin by his accent. The man answers yes, and the first mans says what a coincidence, so am I! Well, they both agreed it was a splendid coincidence for two fine Dubs to run into each other halfway across the world at a bar in Chicago. The second man asks what part of Dublin, and the first answers "just north of the Liffey off O'Connell Street".

    Good lord! answers the second man, I grew up myself in a little flat just off O'Connell.

    You don't say, says the first. And how blessed are we both to be drinking in such fine company tonight, not only with fellow Dubs but both from O'Connell Street!

    They continued drinking, and reminiscing about their respective childhoods. The first Irishman began to speak lovingly of his saintly mother Bridget, and how hard she worked to take care of him as a lad.

    AH JAYSUS MARY AND JOSEPH says the second man, what a coincidence! My own mother, bless her heart, went by the name Bridget and worked her beautiful fingers to the bone taking care of us as children...

    At that moment a man walked in and asked the bartender how it was going that night.

    "Ah feck, the Murphy brothers are drunk again..."

  4. Skyler's Dad- If we are ten paces apart, how will we clink glasses?

    FanIAm- Bless your heart dear but I couldn't do it.

    Bubs- Of all the ones I've read today, I think this is my favorite! Thanks!



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