Published this week in the journal, "Proceedings of the Royal Society" was an article on South African Augarabies flat lizards and how immature males would disguise themselves as females so they could hang with the chicks and not get their ass beat by older males. The Associated Press qouted Jonathan Webb, a researcher for the University of Sydney, as saying, "Males are fooled by looks, but not by scent," and one lick would give the imposters away, as these lizards smell with their tongues, so the tranvestites must become agile.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for science and learning about the world around us, but don't you think this is a little weird? Not the lizards. As a devout coward, I would wear a nun's habit and hobble along with a walker to save myself from an ass beating. That makes perfect sense to me. No, to me the weird part is that someone is learning this for their job.
Imagine poor Mr. Webb at a cocktail party that is just packed full of his wife's coworkers, and while she is away in the bathroom, her Boss asks him what he does for a living. Mr. Webb would be hard pressed to come up with a simple answer, other than to say he was doing research with the University.
"So what are you studying Jon?" the Boss asks.
Jon casually takes a long pull at his gin and tonic and looks him in the eye.
"I'm studying the sex life of transvestite South African lizards and how they protect themselves from getting their ass beat," he says with an easy grin. By now, he has this line down pat as he gets asked this alot. The Boss chuckles predictably, as they always do.
"Really?" he stammers out as he nudges the guy next to him.
"Yes, and my studies are going to be published in The Proceedings of the Royal Society. The Queen herself expressed some interest in my work."
"Oh?" the Boss continues to chuckle.
"Yeah. I mentioned your name when I signed her copy and she said you were a prick, and if you didn't keep your filthy hands off of my wife, she would send MI6 to put you in a shallow hole," his voice is soft but with an unmistakeable edge. "Did you want to talk about science, or were you just making conversation?" he wears a smile that would frighten convicts.
The Boss turns pale and waves at a nonexistent friend across the room, then hurries away.
Forgive me, I've been reading some of Cormac's crime fiction and getting my news from Yahoo.