- Flannery doesn't buy bars of soap anymore. She buys "bodywash" and these nylon "poofs" to use in the shower. Call me a backwoods doofus if you want to, but I never know how much "bodywash" to put on the damn thing. Either I run out of suds after just hitting the smelly bits, or I look like the Michelin Man of soap. I can't seem to find the right amount.
- In Don Henley's tune "The Boys Of Summer" he mentions seeing a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. Is this supposed to say something about Deadheads or Cadillac owners? Is this line meant to sound profound or ironic? This has been bothering me for years. If you happen to run into Don, ask him WTF?
- When ever I'm driving along and I see a sign that says, "Caution, Hidden Driveway" I always slow down and look for it. I guess that's part of the reason I always found those "Where's Waldo" books to be such page-turners.
- Things I Like: A Good Back Scratch, Finding Money I Didn't Know I had, Sleeping In, A Full Belly, Orange Marmalade, That I Don't Have A Dorky Nickname Like "Stinky", and The Color Orange.
- Universal Hatreds: paper cuts, losing your keys, wet your pants, traffic, ill fitting shoes, the flu, and junk mail.
- No one ever says, "That's as glamorous as a parking attendant!"
- On my drive to work today I noticed that there was a thriving Health & Weightloss center right next to the 24 hour Taco Bell. There was also a store called Religious Goods, but the sign seemed to suggest that they only catered to one religion as only Christ on the cross was represented. I contemplated going in and asking if they had any VooDoo relics that I could purchase.
- I thought that this and this were the funniest things I've seen in a long time. Thank you Gifted Typist for your recommendation.
- "All the world is but a stage, and the woman plays the mummer's part. The Devil enters the prompter's box and the play is ready to start!" I read that somewhere and I've often contemplated writing it on a men's room wall, but I never have a black marker with me and I refuse to dull my good pocketknife.
- Things I Will Never Do: Floss with barbed wire. Climb an electric fence. Light my farts. Hold a seance to contact W.C. Fields from beyond the grave. I have tried all of these things before with poor results and resolve to never attempt them again.
- I am delighted to live in an age that can provide me with Cheez-Whiz.
- Things I've Passed: A cop. An opportunity. A nickel. A marble. A free ride, and advances from strangers. Gas.
- The whole time I'm writing this I am suffering from a horrible case of deja' vue. I am convinced that I have written all or some of this before. Should any of this sound familiar, drop me a line. I'd like to think that my needle hasn't skipped a groove here.
I'd like to leave you with some music that is near and dear to my heart but Youtube didn't have any, so I give you this:
Cheers,
Doc
What?? I LOVE wetting my pants!
ReplyDeleteI think the Don Henley line is just there to set up the next line, "A little voice inside my head said don't look back, you can never look back." I think he saw the Deadhead sticker, which reminded him of another time, back when he "thought he knew what love was," and maybe there are painful memories there that he doesn't want to remember. The whole song seems to be about remembering a lost love.
And I have NEVER thought about the meaning behind that song until right now. But I think I'm right. Obviously. :)
Now I want to hear that song. When it was at its peak, it became so overplayed that I started to hate it. Then, a few years ago, a friend and I went to see Stevie Nicks and Don Henley, and he played this song and I was reminded of how freaking good it is. It really is. Thanks for reminding me again!
Lighting farts? it's been done in grand style already.
ReplyDeletePerfect list for a Friday. I woke up early, smootched my Spooky and went to the dietician this AM to find out how to Eat Like A Diabetic (hint: don't tell your girlfriend you had beer and a pretzel for lunch yesterday).
As for the Deadhead sticker, I've wondered about THAT for ages and ages. It's a question that you could've easily turned into an entire blogcake itself.
Yes, we use body wash now. Kathy tried to push the poof on me but I rebelled and stayed with my washcloth.
ReplyDeleteShe countered by using my washcloth to clean the shower.
Do you have any advice for me on the next card I should play?
Beckeye- As I posted this, I thought of you. Only you could explain Don Henley to me.
ReplyDeleteCap'n Ergo- No, it's really just a minor musing among many.
Skyler's Dad- Hide a stash of wash clothes in your underwear/sock drawer. Just make sure it isn't under the pile of socks she frequently swipes from and always make sure that you are the one who does a load of towels. If this doesn't work, leave her a message on the steamy bathroom mirror. It's subtle, but effective.
Doc
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ReplyDeleteRegarding Don Henley, I'm pretty sure that he actually did see a deadhead sticker on a cadillac and that was the inspiration for writing the song. The Greaful Dead was part of his generation and the cadillac represented wealth. His generation wanted peace and love and they didn't want to have to think about money, but then they grew older and realized they wanted and needed comforts that only money could buy. They weren't as different from their parents as they thought they were. That song is about Henley's sadness over the loss of youth and all it's ideals.
ReplyDeleteRegarding bodywash and poofs, I have the same problem with bodywash that you do. I think more often than not, it ends up being wasteful. I refuse to use poofs. They're horrible! You might as well use an S.O.S. pad.
I love Cheez-Whiz, too!
I make SV go buy his own manly soap, because I only buy the girlie soap.
ReplyDeleteBTW, Don Henley says he doesn't remember that line at all and he was probably stoned when he wrote it so you should just get over it already.
I would like to see Don Henley's dead head on a Cadillac and I think I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI used to love Cheez Whiz as a kid and recently bought a small bottle and used it on crackers. I felt dirty but I did it.
Egad! Out of all this, Don Henley's 25 year old lyric is the one that sticks with everyone?
ReplyDeleteSpooky- Cheez-Whiz is the pinnacle of modern man.
GETkristiLOVE- What kind of manly soap does he buy? And I think I've gotten Mr. Henley out of my system.
Dale- You are not alone or need to feel dirty. Trust me.
Doc
You really only need enough body wash for the smelly bits anyway. The rest looks after itself.
ReplyDeleteLove body wash.....it's the soap of the decade.
ReplyDeleteLight a fart? What? Me?
peace
#2
I think "Boys of Summer" is a pretty damn fine pop song.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, Don Henley likes to cheat prostitutes, so.....I dunno.