Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I Am Captain Of My Fate, And I'm Looking Forward To A Paddling

Sorry I haven't been around much. I've been busy accomplishing a dream and I'm about a third of the way there.

I am the proud new owner of a ship. Okay, not a ship. A boat. Well, not even a boat really.

Let me start again.

I am the proud owner of a new canoe, and it is a damn nice one! While this sounds like a paltry and petty dream, and the product of a small mind, perhaps it is, but this is one third of a dream that I've had for twenty-two years.

I did rigorous and intensive research before I purchased my Meyer's Sportspal. Actually I saw it at the local Gander Mountain store and just had to have it. Only after I had forked over the money did I inquire about it's pro's and con's. It met all of my criteria. It is aluminum, 13', and will carry six hundred and twenty-five pounds. It has a wide bottom and is known for it's stability. (Insert wide-bottomed joke here.) It is also a lovely olive drab.

What really makes it great are the sponsons. (See, I'm learning the nautical lingo already!) These are the large, closed-cell foam pads that line the outsides and help prevent tipping, and while no canoe is untippable, the write-up says that even if it is completely full of water, it will still float. To add comfort to luxury, the interior is lined with the same closed-cell foam and provides a wonderful cushiony carpet for the knees. Those who have done slightly more than a little bit of canoing can fully appreciate this. It has a shallow draft which is ideal for rivers and streams where it will face it's greatest trial.

As I said, this is only one third of a dream. The other two-thirds are in the works.

The dream, in total, must start at the tender age of 16. I am a bright young man who is looking for adventure and a sense of accomplishment in the world, despite the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life other than look into being a writer. Enter my older brother Bill. Bill is ten years my senior and is everything I want to be in an adult. He is smart, funny, and dates hot chicks. He is doing a stint in the Army to jump start his law enforcement career. He is an Eagle Scout and an avid canoeist. He tells me about some leave time that he has been saving and suggests a canoe trip for a week, starting at the crick behind our boyhood home. We will go just as far as we can in a week's time and see where we end up. I am enchanted by the idea and want to write a book about it.

But like many things, the Army screwed it up.

He went to Honduras and I twiddled my thumbs. I twiddled them for twenty-two years. Since then, most of my family is dead and my brother left for parts unknown. I haven't heard from him in 13 years, and yet, this remains my only item on my "bucket list". I will do this before my belly shows at the top of the fishbowl.

To this end, I have enlisted the help of another brother. While he and I don't share a common bloodline, he is a brother to me in a spiritual sense that my biological bro's could never rival. He has been one of the great lucky boons of my life, and it doesn't hurt at all that he is an excellent campfire cook, as well as being able to navigate by the stars. You couldn't ask for a better companion for this trip as his coffee is always great and his insight is always engaging.

I have a week's vacation coming on August 17th, and while there are still many hurdles to overcome, I plan on living out my one dream and doing it to it's fullest.

The only snag that I can foresee is the fact that I haven't told Flannery as she's been in Vermont and I lost the reciept for the canoe.

Pray for me,

P.S.- A special thanks to Cooper Green and Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass. Thank you gentleman for helping me see.

P.P.S- I hope she doesn't read this before she gets home. It's 12:13 AM and she is due in at 1 AM.


  1. When you go on your trip be sure to take your bow and arrow for those "Deliverance boys".

    This is a great post Doc!

  2. Can't wait to get in that sucker. What are you thinking for the 17th? "Sea" trials at the lake or a "let's just jump nekkid into the crik" kinda think?

    I can have a backpack ready within an hour.

  3. Dr. MVM- I have never been envied before. Thanks.

    Skyler's Dad- I was thinking more along the lines of a pump shotgun as them boys have cousins!

    Err- Give me a call. We'll make plans.


  4. Oh, you're going to get a paddling all right!

  5. Don't forget to christen it before the initial launch. A canoe doesn't require a champagne bottle, though. A bottle of Pabst will do fine.

  6. This is an excellent idea, Doc. And if you ever publish those short stories of yours, you'll have to call the volume "Fire Stories" after the campfires around which they were told.

  7. Hopefully the canoe hasn't inspired you to quote "The Last of The Mohicans" ad nauseum to Flan.


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