Thursday, August 06, 2009

Have You Ever Felt Sexy?

Have you ever felt sexy? I'm not talking about feeling randy/horny/ready to go. I'm talking about feeling sexy.

Have you ever felt that at some small moment in your life that you had the draw that would pull in potential mates of only the finest kind. That sense that all of your pheromones were in sync and you wore the right clothes/cologne/shoes that would practically guarantee your finding a wonderful person who would move heaven and earth at your beck and call for the slimmest chance that they would have at balling you? Have you ever known that?

I have known it once, but that is another story.

Now, while you roll that around in your head, think of the flip side.

Have you ever been repugnant to those you were looking to have sex with? Have you ever gone to great lengths to appeal and no matter what clothes/cologne/shoes you wear, you know you are going home alone? In a word, have you ever felt unsexy?

The sexy feeling I will leave up to the media to resolve as they seem to have umpteen thousand suggestions. I know. I read Cosmopolitan and the "HOT" issue made me wonder and that is why I ask you.

Have you ever felt "unsexy"?

For my part, I must admit I have. In my younger years, there have been several occasions when I knew I stood a much better chance with the twelve in the fridge than with the dozen girls that populated the gatherings I went to. I have no idea what these girls were looking for in "hook-up's" but it wasn't me, no matter what shoes I wore. (Boots, honestly.)

I have felt unsexy when I looked in bathroom mirrors. I have felt unsexy at job interviews. I have felt unsexy in hotel rooms I didn't rent. I have felt unsexy when staring a judge in the face.

The worst was when I finally convinced someone to give me a roll in the hay. We were in a pine forrest and she called my name with a soft guttural groan. I was at a loss, as no one had ever said "yes" before and I hadn't a clue how to continue from there. Everyone else had dismissed me with a simple "Not on your life Jack," and we had moved on from there. This one wanted me too!?!

I fumbled. I stammered. I gave her my best. When it came right down to it though, I was a no-show. Don't get me wrong, she went home singing to her Mother, but there is something to be said for stage fright. The time came and I couldn't put lead in my pencil.

I only think of this now as I will be paddling my way past the tree farm she looked after for the neighbor's in a week or so.

It makes no difference. I was just curious if I was the only human being to feel unsexy.


P.S.- Her friend that owned the tree farm is the other story...


  1. I have never, ever in my life felt like I was sexy, attractive or had any game.

    I have proof in the number of times I have been turned down and dumped also.

    Whenever a girl says they look for a sense of humor in a guy, do not believe it.

    OK, I am done, this brought up a lot of old memories Doc...

  2. We've all been there, man. I don't mean at the tree farm! That would be just plain weird.

  3. Hell yeah!!!

    In fact, as I sit here typing in my pj's and bed hair, I have never felt sexier!!!!


    I'm back and have alot of reading to do

  4. The trick is not to let the opinions of others pump you up or bring you down. Some cats can get away with it simply by being arrogant and clueless.

  5. You know that I know...that I know that I'm sexy. :)


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