Friday, February 18, 2011

Whispered Words Of Tender Love

Dear Zeke,

Oh my dear, how I long for your gentle touch. I miss you so much it hurts. I have trouble facing the day knowing that you aren't by my side and I need your warm embrace to steady me against the cold, outside world. I need you. I need you badly. I want to feel your arms around me. I want to feel the gentle brush of your lips along my neck. I ache to feel you inside of me once again like we were in the orchard last fall. I shiver to remember the way we made love beneath the apple trees. I know we have had our differences in the past but can't we put all that behind us now? Can't we embrace our love and just let the world fall away like we used to? I miss you darling. Come back to me, my loving man.

Yours forever more,

Dear Maggie,
You two-timing white trash bitch! I wouldn't take you back for a billion dollars you selfish whore! It is one thing to get drunk and kiss Billy Ray on the dance floor of the Boar's Nest but it is another thing entirely to take him out to his pickup truck in the parking lot and shag him like some dog in heat! And to make matters worse, you have to follow him up with the entire high school football team, right down to the water boy! When the cops show up to arrest you for disturbing the peace, you blew them in the cruiser! I should have listened to my mother. She always said that you were a cooze but I didn't believe her. I know now why we got such a deal on the Firebird from the dealership, cause you banged Harold Sykes on the tire rack you unfaithful slut! I know cause that is how I got that bad case of the crabs back in April. Maggie, I'm taking that job in Texas and I'm taking the truck and the TV with me. You can have the trailer and all of the Designing Women DVDs. Good luck, you unfaithful harlot. I hope you catch a disease.



  1. Designing Women DVDs.

    A form of torture that I'm sure the Geneva Convention covers.

  2. Here, here! Maggie, you're a bitch whore!! I hope you're over her, Doc? HA!!

    Nice piece, my friend. An original style of story-telling. Great job!

  3. This Maggie sounds like the girl to know! Except for the crabs thing. Is this your FFF submission?

  4. You wouldn't happen to still have Maggies number, would ya?

  5. A few minor dalliances and he takes the truck and leaves! Some men are so picky!

  6. Hell hath no fury like a scorned! He doesn't mince his words, does he! ;-p

  7. O_o .... Actually, the contrast of sweet 'n salty is really great! This brought a smile to my face. Ha. He got cooties.

  8. Beckeye- Sorry, the title was misleading.

    Beach Bum- There are some things no man should be subjected to.

    David Barber- Not too original. This is a tale as old as time. Thanks for dropping by.

    Coaster Punchman- I really need to start labeling these as my fiction submissions. I think I grossed Beckeye out with this one.

    Skyler's Dad- I've got her number but you wouldn't want it. Great to hear from you.

    Barbara Bruederlin- I'm not so certain I wouldn't have done the same. I'm just sayin'.

    Sue H- I may have gone overboard with the "colorful" language but it's hard to express redneck outrage without it.

    Ingrid Hardy- Sweet and salty was the only way I could see to write for this weeks assignment, although it came out more salty than sweet. Romance is not my strong suit in the field of writing. You'll notice that Maggie's letter could have been pulled from any cheap paperback romance novel and contains very little that hasn't been done by others better. Thanks for dropping by dear.


  9. Uh huh. Maggie? I do believe that's a big NO! Zeke is certainly not one to mince words. This was hilarious and frighteningly realistic. I think I dated him once...


Write your beer-fueled ravings here...