I have It On Good Authority, I should just bugger off...

It has been suggested, by several people as of late, that I bugger off.

I hate to listen to the negative press, but the people will have their will.

I promise to no longer break wind in an elevator, no matter how far it is going up.

I promise to only eat animals that have lost the will to live. Cows, sheep, etc.

I will pray unceasingly for those who have sinned against the God they believe in.

I will eat rice. (Always good to establish an achievable goal)

I will NOT use the Lord's Name in Vain unless truly invoked against A FUCKER of the first order. Nazis, and Slavers come under this heading.

I will never knock ice cream.

Truth be told, I have had one of the worst days of my life. The last time this happened, I broke my leg. This time around...I won't.