"First time you feel it, it might make you sad,
Next time you feel it it might make you mad,
But you'll be glad baby when you've found,
That's the power makes the world go round!" - Huey Lewis & The News, "The Power Of Love"
"You know Javier, poets say that in the spring a young man's thoughts turn to love, but I think they're wrong. It's in the fall. I know I've been feeling a bit of an itch lately, if you know what I mean," Fritz said wistfully.
Javier didn't seem to be listening, but seemed more intent on staring at Fritz's left shoulder with an intense gaze. Fritz didn't notice and continued to elaborated on his thought.
"Yeah, I've been feeling pretty randy here as of late," Fritz scratched his chin, "You know what I look for in a woman Javier? You know what really pushes my buttons? I bet you haven't got a clue."
"A big ass?" Javier volunteered without ever moving his fixed look.
"That's right! Ha ha! You got it! A nice big, plump red ass! The redder, the better!" Fritz smiled at the thought and clapped his hands, "That's how my ex-wife Naomi was. Just redder than the setting sun, and she knew how to shake it, let me tell you boy! She was a fine catch at the time. The first time I saw her, she was just strolling by and I take one look at her and I thought to myself, 'She's pretty good looking. Not drop dead WOW, but pretty.' but when she got past me and I saw her from the back, I knew I had to make her mine! She had a walk that just exuded grace and sexiness, and...well...class, if you know what I mean. She had panache. Not like the girls today who just want to stick it in your face and mutter something dreadful like, 'Come and get it, big boy' or some twaddle."
Javier's arm shot out with the speed of a flash bulb and snatched something from Fritz's shoulder and he pinched it in his fingers. "Sorry old man, didn't mean to startle you," Javier said, "It's just that you've had this bug crawling on you for fifteen minutes and that just irritates me to no end! One of my many eccentricities I guess," Javier sighed, "I'm sorry, please continue. Naomi's ass?"
"Well, yes," Fritz shifted and eyed Javier to see if he was going to lash out again any time soon, then continued, "Yeah, that Naomi was a fine one for a roll, she was. It's a pity she was so bull-headed. I could have made my life with that woman if she could have just once and a while compromised. But no! It had to be her way all the time! What we ate, where we slept, on and on! She would just dig her feet in over the stupidest things. It was a relief when she moved back in with her mother." Fritz sat quietly for a moment and just fiddled with his thumbs. Javier didn't say anything because he was afraid to intrude on his friend's thoughts, and snuck the bug between his fingers into his mouth instead.
Fritz looked up and wiped his nose on his wrist with resolve. "What do you say we rustle up some dinner," he said, "I know this great ant mound not far from here. You could find us some sticks on the way."
"Why do I have to find the sticks?" queried Javier.
"Cause you're the better tool-maker numb nuts!" Fritz said with a friendly jab. The two baboons wandered off together.
**Editor's Note** I read somewhere that when a female baboon is "in season" her butt gets redder to attract mates. I thought this was odd and worthy of a story.
Doc
