Bloody Hard Times

One good thing about an economic downturn is there is a lot more blood being donated, especially at Christmas. Cap'n Ergo and I are going to see about donating some plasma to raise some much needed cash.

This is something of a big leap for me as I suffer from an irrational fear of needles. As a kid I got allergy shots that were administered by my mother who had the gentle touch of a pro wrestler. I was always afraid that the needle was going to break off in my arm and the blood would spurt out like a geyser.

In the past I have tried to donate blood three times, but I was always turned away as my temperature was one degree above normal. They put it down to me fighting off a cold while I chalked it up to nerves.

I don't mind having blood drawn, as long as I don't have to watch, because I would like to think that it is going to someone who really needs it, perhaps some wounded soldier in the field, a mother having a hard time in childbirth, or even someones grandpa who is having his heart worked on so he can have a few more years of bouncing grandchildren on his knee. I have so very little of anything to give but this, and I may as well, as I'm making more everyday.

It is the same reason that my driver's licence sez I'm an organ donor. If I am in a position where I don't need my organs any more, I may as well give them to someone who does. They are welcome to anything I've got, but I wouldn't recommend taking my heart, lungs, or liver as they have all have been hard used. My kidneys however are in perfect working order as they have filtered many gallons of beer and are perhaps the strongest organ I own, barring one*.

I know my blood type is O positive and that seems to be something of a universal type as most people can stand to use it to the best of my knowledge. Forgive me. My name is Doc but most of my medical knowledge extends to first aid and triage and whatever I have learned from M*A*S*H reruns. I was named after a character from Steinbeck's "Cannery Row" who was a marine biologist, not an MD.

So Cap'n Ergo and I are making an appointment for Monday at the local plasma clinic to see if they want what we have to offer. He is doing it to raise money for his kids and I'm going to try to scrounge some extra cash to pay an unexpected hospital tab. It used to be that the sweat of my brow was the way to pay bills, but in hard times, it takes a little more. I hope they don't mind if it comes with a slight flavor of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Doc

*I'm not certain that my tongue counts as an organ but I read somewhere that it is the strongest muscle in the body after the heart.

Gentle Reader, It Saddens Me...

It seems that the price of beer is going up. In a short article in Newsweek they cite the fact that farmers are planting more corn for biodiesel, and a lot less barley. Less barley, means a higher price for the crop come harvest time. Prices for barley are up 79% in 11 months.

They also mention higher demand for steel for kegs, and glass. The U.S. reports keg shortages as well as the price of the average pint up 3.8%. Scottish and Newcastle, big time brewers in the U.K., raised prices 3.9% in March. In Feb. Hieneken predicted the cost would rise 7-8%. In Germany at Oktoberfest a liter was $10.90, up a dollar from '05. And get this, South African Brewers, yes Miller Beer Inc. has had trouble getting glass as well as having trouble filling orders. To make up for the whole mess, they are going to raise their prices.

Now as I see it, this is a powerful encouragement to start recycling, and if you have an old keg in the basement, you know, left over from your college days, now might be a good time to turn it in.

And if you are like me and get tired of mowing so much grass every summer, now might be a good time to consider having a garden next summer. Just sit down with your loved one and explain how you want to plant the whole backyard in barley so you start brewing your own beer in the fall. Tell them how it can be a project that the two of you can share together and how this will be good quality time. If that doesn't seal the deal, appeal to their logic and thriftyness. Tell them that this will save a lot of money out of the family budget, as well as get the kids "back to nature" and get them out of the house and doing something useful. It that still dosen't quite convince them, then promise to name the beer after them and throw them a party.

If any of this works with your loved one, tell me. I need something good to get Flannery to go for it.

Doc