Saturday, August 05, 2006

Maybe I’m Wrong…

I have spent a lot of time on this website extolling the virtues of beer. It is a great product, to be sure, and when the monks started peddling it to the masses to raise money for the church, maybe they knew what a great thing they were on to, but I doubt it.

It has come to my attention that a lot of casual readers of this site just don’t have the beer stories that I do. To each his own. Not everyone has had the opportunity to try beer, in its many varied forms, over many settings, with a variety of people.

So in the spirit of Glasnost, I want to welcome those of you who have felt left out. Come in to the beer garden and order your drink of choice. Don’t settle for the local suds. Have a whiskey sour and tell me your tales. Order up a brandy, call for one more round of “Sex on the Beach”, nag the waiter for a Manhattan, a Cosmopolitan, a Tom Collins, a Champagne Cocktail, or, James Bond help us, a Vodka Martini; shaken, not stirred.

This invitation is extended to you, Madame E!

Raven, you once swore you had only one post for this forum. Please recant. Tell me about your drink of choice. Forget beer. Never mind the drink of the masses. Tell me about the drink that always conjures up this one time when…

Big E, please sir, I’m begging, on bended knee, tell me about your worst drunk. Tell me of experimenting with Harvey Wallbangers in foreign lands. Tell us about the evening in the gay bar in Amsterdam, or the drink you had with priest in Rome, or the spy you waylaid with rum in Turkey.

Big Orange, talk of your time sipping sherry on the nude beach in Georgia. Tell us all of the time you screamed poetry as you guzzled White Russians in Idaho. The world needs to know.

Flannery Alden, tell us all about the Italian restaurant that serves the best Whiskey Sours. Tell us of the best place in Cleveland to grab a good club sandwich and top shelf Scotch.

The drink is immaterial. I couldn’t care if you write about the best glass of water you ever had. Tell us.

Please, Dear and Gentle Reader, resist the temptation to ignore this well-intentioned plea. Honestly Folks, it takes a village to corrupt the youth of today. I cannot do it alone.

The site, as it sez at the top of the page, is under new management. The new management wants desperately to hear from you.

Tell me I’m not doing this for my own writing exercise. Talk to your community. We are not alone. We have each other. Strengthen your ties to humanity at large and talk to them.
We desperately want to hear from you. Let us revel in your good times. Let us learn from your mistakes (like one too many trips to the All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Bar with too many Rum Punches). Tell us about some funny shit that happened to your great ex-step neighbor in-law.

Please, the World needs your contribution.


  1. I was telling you this afternoon that thanks to Wikipedia I discovered a few noteworthy things, namely that "malt liquor" is a type of BEER, just too strong in alcohol for the govt. regulating ATF to CALL 'beer'. I also learned from that site that Greeks often strengthen their colas with Ouzo-- which I'd heretofore been drinking straight up or w/ice water (cola and a shot of Ouzo gives you a drink that tastes just like a black jellybean). I don't know if I can stretch that into a whole BLOGCAKE, but it's a place to start.

  2. meanwhile, I'm 100% sure that Raven, Madame, Big E, Flannery, Gen6 and all other Lodge members from far and whee have WONDERFUL stories to tell. I've not quaffed White Russians in Idaho, but I HAVE drunk a great deal of Lambrusco before going into a hottub at a nude camp in western PA... Does that count??

  3. I can't think of any interesting drinking stories that wouldn't end with "...and then I threw up!"

    Oh, let's not go there.


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