Sunday, January 28, 2007

When A Man Loves A Woman...

Recently we have had two incidents of Tiki members drinking too much. Contrary to popular belief, this is unusual. There have been only three times in the history of the Tiki that this sort of thing has happened. (One was just poor judgment, as the article entitled Wally’s Transgressions should explain.) As I am the Tiki chronicler, I should know. On both occasions, two of the men involved were without their women. They lacked the “civilizing” influence that women provide. Let’s face it, Dear and Gentle Reader, women and beer are the reason we have civilization to begin with. If it weren’t for them, we would be chasing each other around with sharpened sticks. On both occasions the men involved had their ladies out of town and were not feeling themselves. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE! This is merely an observation. I know that when my woman is away, I am not myself. I would never admit this to someone who knows me. That would be admitting a sign of weakness that no man that I know would be willing to own up to. But this is a factor that is apt to play on a man’s mind. There is a reason that married men live longer than their single counterparts. There is a woman to tell them when it is time to go to bed, when to eat, and when to quit drinking with their buddies, and when not to drive. This is in no way to excuse this kind of behavior, but it is to hold up some kind of defense, just so you know where they are coming from.

We need you girls; we need you more than you will ever know. We can’t live without you, and we can’t tell you enough how much you mean to us. So when you have to be gone, we have a couple more beers than we ought to, just to make ourselves try and feel better. Sorry.



  1. between you and me, I'd like to experiment to see if I CAN be civilized w/o my mate: we don't have a Tiki South and we're too broke to drink much and we've only got 1 car, so other than work, I'm always around my mate.

  2. this one is 'cuz I feel like being an ass:

    Why can't a woman be more like a man?
    Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
    Eternally noble, historically fair.
    Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
    Why can't a woman be like that?

    Why does every one do what the others do?
    Can't a woman learn to use her head?
    Why do they do everything their mothers do?
    Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead?

  3. Doc,

    I appreciate your praise of women.
    I do have to say though, that I agree with Flannery. Men should be able to use some common sense with or without us. It's unfair that we women should have to worry about our men getting in trouble every time they are without us. Men should men, not children.

    I also want to add that I know there are plenty of responsible men out there. I would never generalize, that wouldn't be fair at all.

  4. you're right, E-- everybody generalizes...

  5. There are no responible men out there.


  6. I was just trying to say that the loss of a loved one, even for a short while, is tough. I know that some men will have a few more beers than they would normally, just to allay their pain at being alone. Is it right? Is it good? Is it successful? F*ck No! But this is a common mistake. I don't want you to think that this is an o.k. thing to do, but it has been tried. I would never recommend that you sniff oven cleaner to "catch a buzz", but has it been tried? Well yes.


  7. I thought it was funny that the author of the book that I used in the picture was Bette Ford (or Betty Ford) like the famous detox center.

    Just a thought.



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