Exile In Guyville

"There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, you can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down, yeah
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat...oh yeah..."

-Queen, "Another One Bites The Dust", 1980.



I haven't seen Li in forever and am not one to turn down a dance floor, so when she called saying she wanted to go dancing at The Chamber, the local goth night, I wrote it in "the book" before I even bothered calling her back.

Our friend Klaus showed up about fifteen minutes after we arrived. Klaus is an absolute pleasure to watch on the dance floor...Hawaiian shirt, khaki pants and the greatest '80's-rock fist-in-the-air salute you'll ever see performed to German techno. Now THIS would be a party.

And then Rob shows up....this is going to be an interesting night. I know Rob through a different group of friends than the ones I was with, so I had no idea he was going to be there. He showed up by himself to just hang out.

I have been almost/kinda/sorta interested in Rob for almost two years. He spent a year in Florida so I sort of forgot about him...and then he came back. I spent almost a year trying to figure out if I was interested in him or not the first time and just couldn't make up my mind. My friends were getting tired of my indecisiveness, so when he left town it was a bit of a relief. His coming back only started the guessing game all over again. And now, for another year, I've been wondering if I should take him on.

We've been drinking a bit heavily and talking for quite some time and the answers I'm looking for finally show up. I will date a guy who uses drugs because I have no room to talk. But there are limits, and Rob talked about drugs in a way that made it clear to me that his use is beyond those limits. It's a suspicion I've laways had about him but was never able to confirm exactly how much and what kind of drugs he does.

Now I know, and he's off "The List." One down...

So let's replace him with Michael. Rob left the club and a guy I've never met came over and started talking to me. He was awesome. He's 41 years old, originally from Nigeria, was raised mostly in the States, joined the military and spent 8 years in Germany, now back in the U.S. for good and looking to settle down. He's at the club because he loves German techno. He's perfect.

We close out the club and Michael comes out to eat with me and Li and Crystal afterward. He's made it very clear he's looking to settle down and have a family,meaning he wants children. At this point I kind of wrote him off...there's no reason to get involved with someone if you already know they're not moving in the same direction you are.

All of us discuss the child issue over dinner, among other things. He's amazed that I don't want children...can't believe it. He proceeds to tell me all the reasons I should. I politely explain to him that it just ain't happenin'. I leave to smoke, and he asks Crystal and Li if they think my opinion will change over time. Li tells him that I'm 32 years old and if it was going to change it would have at least started by now. Crystal tells him she doesn't know me that well but doesn't think it will happen because I have some very fundamental reasons for not having children. He tells them he's going to try and hook up with me anyway because he thinks I might change my mind.

I tell him I'll see him at The Chamber some time...