Tuesday, August 07, 2007

My Apologies to Mrs. W-W For The Lateness of this Assignment

Write a story that includes all of the following words: galaxy, supermodel, coffee, tunnel, scarf, antlers.

Batu was sitting in the green room sipping coffee. She had just finished her first appearance on The View and was still a little bit stunned. She set her coffee down and stroked her long, graceful neck as she stared into the middle distance. Barbara Walters had just declared her a supermodel. She could hardly believe it. After years of hard work, back stabbing, and general bitchery she had achieved her goal. She smiled and stood up, proud of the recognition.

Pacing the room, Batu untied her Hermes scarf that was knotted around her neck and held an end in each hand. It was the custom at the View that one or all of the ladies on the show would drop in to the green room after filming to chat with the guests and, if sufficiently impressed, invite them to lunch to continue the conversation. Batu was sure a lunch invitation was in her future. She had captivated them with her rags to riches life story.

When Batu was a young girl of five, her father left and she and her mother were on their own. At the time, finding work outside of prostitution was almost impossible for a young Asian woman on her own in a big city, but her mother wouldn't compromise herself. As a result, they lived for a year in her grandfather's old Ford Galaxy as her mother worked cleaning houses and getting paid under the table.

On Batu's seventh birthday she received a surprise that would change her life. Her mother drove up to the school and signaled to her frantically to get in the car. Batu barely had the door closed as her mother peeled away.

"Oh, Batu," she exclaimed, "We don't have to live in Lao Ye's Galaxy anymore!"

Her mother went on to explain that one of her customers had decided to go into the Clean Sweep business and charge people lots of money to organize their stuff and get rid of clutter.

"She wants me to be her partner! And look Batu," she said pointing to her purse. Batu was astonished to see several hunderd dollar bills sticking out of her mother's wallet. She looked up at her mother's face and saw tears streaming down and a smile that had been so long absent that Batu forgot what it looked like.

They arrived at a small house in a planned community which surrounded an amazing swimming pool. The house was a tidy bungalow with manicured hedges and what seemed to be a forest behind it. The two of them ran to the front door and burst into their new home, this light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

That evening after they had calmed down and had their first home cooked meal in a long time, the made their way to the back patio. They looked up at the stars and out through the forest. It had been a long time since they had been surrounded by anything but concrete. As they gazed at the woods, they watched as a doe emerged from the trees, looking around and sniffing cautiously. Sensing no danger, the doe bent her head and began to feed on the rhodedendrons. She was soon joined by a young buck with the buds of antlers just starting to sprout out of his proud head.
Batu was so fascinated by the mother and her child, she would spend every evening watching them graze and look for water. She studied their movements and began to incorporate them into her own interpretive dance. She would do her deer dance whenver she grew bored, which was often, as she accompanied her mother on Clean Sweep missions. It was at her mother's clients house, several years later where she was discovered doing this deer dance by the client's friend, Heidi Klum, who had never seen such unique grace and beauty. With Heidi as her mentor, Batu had become a working model. Eventually, she became a wild life spokeswoman and got her own program on the Discovery Channel, along with a contract to be the new face of The Body Shop.

Her success was tinged with sadness, though. Batu was still suffering from the loss of her mother to breast cancer. She wished her mother could be here to share this moment and to help herself to the buffet of finger foods and pastry and to smile that teary smile once more.


  1. I used to drive a Ford Galaxy!! Fucker was "as big as a whale"!!

    Mrs. Wishy-Washy has a broad smile and a series of gold stars for you. You have earned extra recess time on Friday as well.

  2. In my galaxy, all the supermodels have antlers and wave at me as I drive through the tunnel on my way to work like it's the most normal thing in the world.

    This morning, I was lost in thought wishing I'd remembered to bring my scarf when I hit a patch of ice and slammed straight into one of the poor dears. I'll never forget the sickening thud and her cry.

    I got out to see if there was any hope but looking at her, I knew she would wave no more. It was then that I noticed a strange liquid dripping from her broken antlers. Mmm, coffee! I filled my travel mug and went on my way. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad day after all.

    Okay, much lamer than Flannery's but I tried. For a minute or so.

  3. Yours is awesome! And brief. I was shooting for brief, but all of a sudden, I was in the middle of a Lifetime movie script.

  4. Lifetime would be lucky to get a hold of you.

  5. Dale, I'm going to the office to check your Cum. Folder because I do belive that you got better grades than this last year. Your supermodels-- describe them for me in greater detail, and I find your discovery of coffee inside said antlers to be a deus ex machina for ending this assignment prematurely.

    You currently have a D for this assignment. Please do it over for more credit.

  6. Mrs. Wishy Washy - please excuse Dale from repeating this assignment as he has to wash his hair tonight. Love, Mother of Dale (like Mother of Pearl, only much less expensive).


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