Sunday, September 30, 2007

Mind If I Borrow Your Ego For A Minute?

I find myself doing a bit of leaf turning. This has nothing to do with the changing leaves that populate the trees of my yard, but more of a turning over a new leaf sort of thing. After suffering the ravages of the COILED DRAGON I have decided to start taking much better care of myself. One thing that every new endeavor needs is some positive reinforcement.

Tomorrow is Monday, and for most poor shlubs, this means the beginning of the work week. To brace yourself for the challenges of the coming week, let me provide some much needed confirmation for some things you already know, but need to be reminded of occasionally.

1. Attractive people find you attractive.
2. You are smarter than anyone you work with.
3. You have a sparkle in you eyes that movie stars would love to have implanted.
4. Your laugh is infectious and to die for.
5. Where you are right now in your life is better than any of your siblings.
6. You are living the life your Great Grandparents wished for.
7. I love what you have done with your hair.
8. You fill out those jeans wonderfully.
9. You are looking hot!
10. You smell good.
11. You make the best cookies.
12. Great shoes!
13. Are you available to film an E! True Hollywood Story on yourself?
14. I could listen to you read the phonebook. I love the sound of your voice!
15. You have the most amazing music collection! I love these guys!
16. You have an eye for color. I love your taste.
17. You are great with kids.
18. I love your style. You are uber-cool.
19. You have such a sexy scar.
20. Mom always liked you best.
21. I've never met someone as witty and funny as you are.
22. I was right. You ARE great in the sack.
23. The sound of your footsteps gives me chills.
24. What cloud did you fall from angel?
25. I'm looking forward to the next 50 years getting to know you.
26. You are very, very deep.
27. You are the most talented person I've ever met.
28. You inspire me and make me want to be a better person.
29. I want to be you when I grow up.
30. You have an amazing body and I want you to take all of my money, but DON'T EVER lose my phone number, promise?

This has been a public service announcement from SZ, tcob.

Yes, we love you that much. Have a wonderful week. I'll talk to you tomorrow.



  1. Bless you, Doc, for hitting every branch as you fell from the top of the Sincerity Tree. There were a couple of branches in the middle that you may not have noticed:
    1. Your bald spot hardly shows up at all in this light.
    2. Even your belt buckle has the sense to disappear when your mighty Molson Muscle enters the room.
    3. Those creative emanations add character and depth to my olfactory experience.
    4. It's not everyone who can do what you've done on your shirt with just a touch of gravy. Jackson Pollock, eat your heart out!

    There. I don't know if you feel better, but I sure do.

  2. I often hear "You have such an attractive scrotum", but then who doesn't?

  3. Why thank you. Thank you very, very much.

    Back atcha.

  4. I'd trade a LOT to have someone say #22 to me...

    I'd trade even MORE for a LOT of people to say #22 to me, but I'll take what I can get

  5. Wait, did you just say I look fat in these jeans?!

  6. No wonder they call you "Doc," you are the smoothest operator I've ever seen.

  7. You bring brown-nosing to a whole new level. There should be a statue of you in Newark?

  8. Coop: my emanations are just my molson muscle saying "hello".

    SD: What have you been doing that you get so many compliments to your scotum?

    Bubs: Anything I can do to brighten up your week.

    Hot Lemon: I know. Me too.

    GKL: Not fat, svelt, curvey, and scumptious.

    writeprocrastinator: not a smooth operator, just an accomplished flatterer.

    Elizabeth: No, the pidgeons have enough to crap on.



Write your beer-fueled ravings here...