Thursday, November 22, 2007

How I Learned To Be Left Handed

When I went to kindergarten, I used my left hand to write and draw, even though the teacher smacked my hand, took the fat pencil and put it in my right hand, but this was a concious decision. I was in the hospital to have tubes put in my ears when I was seven and the guy I shared a room with was in for an amputation operation after a bad farming accident. So I gave my future a little thought, but this was an uneasy time for a child, and I decided to be left handed.

My reasoning was that I could learn to write and draw with my right hand, that was a given, because everyone could do it, but after seeing my maimed roomate, I thought it better to learn to write with my off-hand, just in case I was maimed too. At the time, this seemed very logical. No matter which way things went in my life, I would at least have one good hand.

A Japanese warrior once responded to the charge of cowardess because he used two hands and two swords, he replied, "Am I so great a warrior that I can afford to offend the creator by only using one hand?" I have to agree with him. Two hands are better than one, so why not learn to use both to their best, since I might lose one in an accident just like him. It was a life-changing moment when I decided to be left handed. Some have called me ambidexterious, but this really isn't true. I use my right hand for everything but writing, drawing, and shooting a bow and arrow.

This has provided a few complications in my life here and there. There are no left handed power tools. Scissors are built only for right handed people, but a vehicle with a standard transmission never presented too much trouble, other than the fact that first gear hates me.

So Southpaws unite, I am one of you, even if I joined the ranks by choice rather than inclination.



  1. A good reason at the time? Hell, it's STILL a good reason!! Can you bop your baloney equally with both arms?? I can!!

    Bop MY baloney, that is. I don't know how well I can bop DOC'S baloney with either hand. I suppose that depends on which side of the table I'm sitting on.

  2. I used to be able to make a perfect mirror image of my signature with my left hand, but that's the only southpaw talent I ever developed. Now, my left hand is my Official Scratching Tool. I make sure I always set aside enough time to groom my nails accordingly.

    It's the little things that make life worth living.

  3. I'm still wundrin' how that's possible...

  4. I want to hear you weigh in on the whole 'Santa can't say "ho ho ho"' controversy.

  5. I was quite the warrior also. I could launch missiles and torpedoes with either index finger.

  6. Did you know, most right-handed people shoot left in hockey? Okay, you probably don't give a rat's ass, but there it is.

  7. I heard the left hand is like someone else is doing it.


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