Pussy Licks The Tub

I have been frustrated as of late. I can't seem to come up with anything to write about. I have an article from the paper about the price of beer going up, but that is old news. I've started an article on rediscovering my record collection, but it is boring. I have a head cold, but that isn't interesting either. I went to Flannery's company Christmas party, but I didn't have any beer. I knew this was an occasion that called for scotch and plenty of it. Nothing like trying to mingle in a crowd of people you don't know and trying to be on your best behavior while packing away enough J & B so you don't run screaming to the car from the boredom.

While I was in the bathroom this morning perfecting my "I'm too sick to come to work" voice, I hit upon an idea. Not a good one, but I'll take any old thing at this point. I watched as our cat pushed open the door, sauntered over to the tub, climbed up on the edge, looked it over, shrugged her little kitty shoulders and hopped in. Then she started to lick the tub, starting at the back and working her way to the drain. When she was done, she walked away as if she was mentally checking off something on her to-do list.

And this post was born. I told you it wasn't much of an idea.

With this piece of crud off my desk, let me pass along a couple of jokes in the vain hope of making up for it.

Did you hear about the girl who sworn she would do anything for a mink coat, and now she can't button it?

Two drunks are sitting at a bar and the first one says, "Frank, do you cheat on your wife?" "Yes," says the second, "who else?"

The same two drunks are out on the golf course. The first one doesn't even tee up, he just drops his ball and stares at it with a bleary eye and says, "Wow! It looks like I've got a half a dozen balls layin' there!" "Well you shouldn't have any trouble hitting it," says the second, "What with all them damn clubs you got in your hand!"

They play a hole and are standing around waiting for the two ladies ahead of them to finish. "Damn it! We are going to be here all day if we have to wait for these two. I'm going to ask them if we can play through." So he marches off and almost gets to the two ladies before he turns around quickly and races back to his buddy. "Wow, I almost got caught. Those two ladies, one is my wife and the other is my mistress!" "Well I'm new in town, so I'll ask 'em" volunteers the second. He walks up to them and turns around and races back. "What happened?" the first one asks. "Gee Frank, it's a small world..." the second says.

I'll be back when I think of something.

Doc