Warning: You May Have A Lurker On Your Blog.

Could you have a lurker on your blog? When you sign in do you get the sneaking suspicion that someone has been perusing your latest entry and not said anything in the comments, even though they always have something engaging to say? As the screen pops up, do you notice a shadow skulking amongst your blog roll? Well then you may have a lurker. I know. I have one myself, and rather then inspiring paranoia, I find it deeply comforting.

I have a regular reader that lurks here at our little cyber-bar and for the most part chooses to remain silent, but that is alright, as it gives me a sense of being watched over and protected from the slings and arrows that some callous commenter might leave.

My lurker has a name. A name that inspires fear and awe in all who know this mischievous knave. He makes all the bad guys that James Bond ever faced look like a three fingered epileptic pickpocket. His name is Evil Genius, and someday he will rule the world. I'm lucky because I have gotten on his good side, sort of, if only by extension. This cold blooded Arch Villain has a soft spot for Flannery, and when the revolution comes and he ascends to his rightful position of power, I know that Flan and I won't have to stand by the wall with a bandanna and a Marlboro. We get a pass. I can only hope you will be so lucky.

So to give you all a chance to escape the horrible wrath of this beloved tyrant (he truly is beloved by all of his inner circle, just ask GetkristiLove) let us assume that he has completed his Doomsday device (weather controller, nukes, poison gas, cornered the world market on Diet Coke and condoms, etc.) and he has given you the chance to save your meagre life by composing a new national anthem for him or face your own painful demise. What would you write? Here is a small offering to get you started, but mind you I have no musical talent whatsoever, so don't count on this to keep you from being drawn and quartered. (Sung to the tune of a college fight song.)

Evil, Evil, Evil, Evil Genius,

All hail to thee,

Evil, Evil, Evil Genius,

Through His kindness we all are free!

Long live Evil Genius,

His beneficence toward us all,

For without it,

We must surely fall!

(Oh Vey!)

Beware all you traitors,

Ye enemies of the state,

You may lay your plans in secret,

While the Master baits!

(Yeehaw!)

I'm not sure the above would keep any of us out of the gulag, but you get the idea. Remember, you are writing for your life here so no amount of, "Hangman, Hangman, stay your hand awhile, I think I see my sister coming, riding many a mile" is going to save you, so be creative and start making lists of friends and neighbors that you can turn in to the secret police when they come knocking.

Doc