My Next Car

I've been driving my old Jeep for several years now and it is starting to show it's age. The rust spots now give it something of a leapord skin look and new creaks and rattles are making themselves known everyday. The interior is a camoflage pattern of spilled drinks, dropped food, as well as mud, blood, and beer. The only part of the vehicle that retains any of it's original color is the spare tire cover in the back. It is gray.

And while it has been a serviceable vehicle for many years, and a God-send for a few freak blizzards in the past, it has never been good on gas. And since gasoline prices are skyrocketing I think it might be time to retire the old girl and buy something more economical. Something small, good on gas, sporty yet practical. I'm willing to forgo on some of the extra doodads that come on most cars: air conditioning, radio, powered windows, powered locks, powered adjustable seats, powered steering, powered brakes, alarm system, or a roof.

Oh yeah, and it has to be amphibious.

Here it is. My next new ride.

I figure if I'm not going to get my rocket powered jet pack like they promised me when I was a kid, I at least want to drive something I can fish from. Besides, it runs on a motorcycle engine so you know it is good on gas. It comes with a built in cooler for live bait or cold beer, but I don't think I would keep both in there at once. You can't complain about the head room as well as a roomy backseat for the kids. And if they spill their Kool-Aid everywhere? No problem, you can wash it out with the hose. The floor has built in drain plugs for just this occasion. It is easy to park, as well as being nimble in close city traffic. Add the optional roll bar and you have an ideal place for a luggage rack, another row of lights for the safest of night driving, or a gun rack. You could go all out and purchase a radio with waterproof speakers and attach one of those long whip antennas that would be ideal for displaying a flag that endorses whatever cause or witticism you think is appropriate for this week. The truly unimaginative could simply have a faux raccoon tail.
Not to mention it comes in green, my favorite color.

Doc