WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The End
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The End
***
A special thanks to Cap'n Ergo for this little piece. He is always good about sending this sort of thing my way. It reminds me of two other poems.
***
The Man's Prayer:
I'm a man,
And I can change,
If I have to,
I guess.
Amen.
***
A Toast:
I met the perfect girl,
I could not ask for more,
She's deaf and dumb,
And oversexed,
And owns a liquor store.
***
If you have any poems/limericks/or toasts that you would like to share, please pass them along. Any contribution gets a doodle of his/her choice to be published with their quote. Cheers!
Doc
Wow, it would be really nice if there were a little less truth in these.
ReplyDeleteShe don't need to own no golf course as far as *I'm* concerned, but it WOULD be helpful if she'd clear some clutter out of the litter box room so I can move MY crap in there.
ReplyDeleteGood grief! Did I just say that?!
Dear Cap'n:
ReplyDeleteWheeeeeze!
I'll give it a go Doc:
ReplyDeleteA fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!