Friday, September 26, 2008

The Rubber Band Effect

Let me set the scene: You have been at work all day and your nose refuses to quit itching. You have been constantly surrounded by other people and your nose really itches, not on the exterior where it would be easy to scratch, but deep in the interior of your nose. It has the sensation of a feather caught way back that tickles with every breath and it is driving you mad.

Finally, you have a chance to be by yourself and you try to rid yourself of this incessant itch and you have the opportunity to select a digit and pursue this itch in earnest.

With your digit selected, you retrieve the offending matter and proceed to remove it. Only to your consternation do you realize that it is eight inches long and needs to be handled with care. The piece that is between thumb and finger is hard and dry, but as you pull this offending matter from you, you see that it is noticeably more moist the closer it is to your nose, to the point that the closest end of it retains it's elasticity.

In disgust, you yank it from you and wipe it in a napkin or paper towel somewhere, but as you do, the wet end snaps back a two hundred miles per hour and you get the distinct feeling that someone has flicked you in your medulla oblongata. You see fairy sparkles at the edge of your vision for a few moments, your eyes water, and you feel mildly stunned. I'm sure it is something of a rubber band effect.

Has this ever happen to you, or is it just me?



  1. I call this "DBS". Dried Boogie Syndrome.


  2. I have never heard of this using a digit to retrieve matter, I use dynamite. It's messy but it works.

  3. you forgot something-- since this is the week when Jim Henson had his birthday, it's appropriate to include a lil' rubber band music.

    Now, having said THAT: when you've got a nose like mine, you've got one that has 2 modes: A) slammed/swollen shut or B) runnin' like a faucet. This is but one of th' many reasons I carry a snotrag everywheres I go (and why, after they're used, they go in a Special Containment Unit in the bathroom).

  4. I read someplace that doctors are back to using maggots to eat dead flesh from wounds, so I shoved a couple up each nostril. Working OK so far...

  5. I have a particular affinity for boogers, if that happened to me I would throw up all over myself.

  6. On that note, thank you for making that a picture of rubber bands and not a giant booger, I would have gagged...

  7. Never done that.....

    I love when you are talking with someone and they have a huge hanger coming from their nose.

    Do you tell them? Or leave the next poor soul to tell them?



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