I was reading your blog this evening after a long day at the bakery. I had beer in hand and was chuckling at your latest installment when Flannery went through the mail. "Look at this," she said quietly.
I glanced at the paper she handed me and saw that it was a bill from the hospital. I skimmed it down to the bottom line and choked. $1,133.60. This was after what the insurance would cover.
"That's Christmas!" I gasped. "A little more and it would have been cheaper to bury me!" I marveled.
"Don't talk like that!" she admonished, "We can get a payment plan."
Fuck.
And we were going to break even this month too.
Doc
Holy fucking hell! That's just awful. Why aren't you Canadian again? You seem nice enough.
ReplyDeleteActually, it probably would have been cheaper to bury you.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
Well, that part sucks but as I said in your other post, you won't be concerned about that money when you're and old man and dying (for real.) Do you have a doctor you trust? Did he/she give you any advice on what cold medicines to take or not take?
ReplyDeleteI had an obnoxious bout in the hospital for a heart thing a few years ago - it ended up being nothing, but both my insurance company and I had the privilege of forking over lots of cash for the experience. Just remember no amount of money is worth risking your life over.
Now, I have a way you can make a little extra cash for Christmas...want to paint my house? :)
No, it would not have been cheaper to bury you--a cheap funeral with burial goes between 5-10 thousand, and a low end cremation with your ashes left in a box to be passed around by surviving relatives who won't know what to do with them, but will feel too guilty to just throw them out, still costs more than your hospital bill.
ReplyDeleteThis really sucks, but don't let it screw your holidays. Call the hospital billing service first thing Monday, tell them you don't have the money, and get on a payment plan. The hospital will be so thrilled that you're not simply stiffing them on the bill that they'll come up with very low payments for you I'll bet.
Huh. Thank god, though, we don't have socialized medicine! That would make us all COMMIES, or something!!
ReplyDeleteCan I buy you a bag o' groceries for Yule?? Beer? A new pencil sharpener?? How about a pot to piss in??
You know, I just went through my documents and realized that's only SLIGHTLY cheaper than what I owe in child support this month o' December...
ReplyDeleteMaybe YOU could buy ME a new pencil sharpener instead??
It's handled. They are willing to take their payments in smaller doses over the next year. Wee!
ReplyDeleteI m glad that the hospital will take payments! That got me thinking what if you don't pay it? Do they come and kidnap you and make you clean bedpans? Repossess an organ?
ReplyDeleteover the next YEAR?! Great scott!! I've got less than a MONTH to pay that same amount before I get to do it all OVER again!!
ReplyDeleteDamn, you kids got it LUCKY...
::sigh:: At a (very) ruff estimate, MY payments will total $235,200 over the next 14 years. I could have... lessee... about 188 hospital stays for THAT bread!!!
Damn, yew kids got it GOOOOOD...
Dale- Don't kid yourself. I shove old ladies into traffic and drown puppies for a hobby.
ReplyDeletegenn6- I've decided not to be buried or cremated. I just want my lovely corpse to be thrown from the back of a pickup truck into a nice ditch on a dirt road. It's cheaper.
Coaster- You buy the train ticket and a case of Pabst and I'll paint your house in three days. Get back to me on that one.
Bubs- I know the expence when it comes to funerals. All of us kids had to scratch around for some dough when my parents passed. I'm going the cheap route myself. Everyone who shows up gets a shovel and a three drink minimum.
Flannery- Thanks babe. I was sweating this one for a bit. You're a peach!
Skyler's Dad- I'd be washing a lot of bedpans, yes.
Cap'n Ergo- Get bent. You've heard the old adage about "cheaper to keep her." Consider it one expensive dance and pay the piper.
Doc
The people in this country who fear "socialized medicine" are the people who haven't had an experience like yours yet.
ReplyDelete