Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Are You Looking For Love?
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Searching the eyes of too many faces? Perhaps this is for you.
While reading a review for a book my pal Vikkitickitavi recommended, I stumbled across an ad for a matrimonial site for those of the Muslim faith. Now Dear and Gentle Reader, you know I am at heart a die-hard romantic and have a soft spot a mile wide. I am the first one to promote a little more love in this world, as we can never have too much of this precious gift and it should be spread far and wide.
But this mail-order bride stuff is just creepy. What kind of woman would just throw her picture and a short bio on the world wide web and expect to find Mr. Right? Even worse, what man would be trolling through these pictures and thinking to himself, "Well, I've narrowed it down to four..." much like he is trying to pick out a decent used car?
I understand that perhaps it is hard for these women to find a perspective mate in their local for whatever reason and they are looking for someone who shares their beliefs, as this is important in any relationship, but to make that your one and only criteria seems a trifle cold-blooded. Are they really considering the biggest choice of their lives in the same manner as a rancher breeding cattle? "Got a pen? Check. Got some feed? Check. Got a bull? Check. Got some heifers? Check. Got a Barry White CD? Check. Well, lets leave them alone for a while and soon we will have more cows."
And it doesn't really matter that this is a site dedicated to Muslims finding a mate. It could be Jews, Christians, huge fans of the rock group Kiss, or model plane enthusiasts who enjoy crock pot cooking, but why narrow it down to one thing and one thing only.
Most of the people who read my blog have a significant other in one form or another (spouse, girl/boyfriend, cohabitant, fuck-buddy, Playboy's Miss November, etc.) and those who don't, I at least get the impression that they would have one if the right one came along. But would anyone of you pick one single, solitary thing as your yardstick of love? I wouldn't and didn't.
I know when I was still in the market for a soul mate, I had a long list of criteria that had to be met and these were things I considered deal-breakers. First off, she had to be a girl. I don't want to sound hard hearted, but I considered that a deal breaker. I'm always in the market to make a good friend, but when it comes to soul mate, she had to be a girl. My taste just runs that way. Second, she had to be smart, because if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I've got to be able to talk to them at some point and not have to pull out flashcards. Third, and I know this sounds shallow, but she had to be beautiful. I don't think anyone sets out looking for the ugliest son-of-a-bitch they can find and says, "I'm going to make her mine forever!" After all, you have to consider the fact that at some point you might want to mingle the gene pool, and an ugly mate might be bad, but you wouldn't wish for ugly kids too would you? Fourth, she had to have personality, as I'm not looking for a mate with a pull string in her back. I'm looking for fun, exciting, vivacious, effervescent, not a wallflower that mumbles. Fifth, we had to have similar world views. I'm sure someone out there is looking for a racist, agnostic, argumentative tea-totaling prude who has no sense of humor and enjoys long walks by active volcanoes, as well as Tijuana donkey shows and slasher films, but not me.
Now my list of criteria goes on, but I think religion would come under the heading of similar world views, and while I would consider this a deal breaker, you will note that it didn't come at the top of the list.
What were you looking for when you met that certain some one? Did you start out with one thing in mind? (Other than the obvious, "getting your rocks off.") I'm sure there was at least three things you were looking for, so what were they? I'd like to know.