Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Flannery! You Gallivanting Simian Chaser!

"Why does the word Tennessee have too many letters and their flag only has three stars? They wanted to be odd." - Doc

I found the picture above on the website for the Tennessee Division of Vital Records where they assured me that I could get a certified copy of my marriage certificate "conveniently, quickly, and securely!" Securely? Is it necessary to keep the name of the person you are married to a secret in Tennessee?

I only mention it because tonight Flannery is gadding about Tennessee with another Doc and it ain't me! Yes, the little hussy is gallivanting with Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein of Monkey Muck fame! She keeps inventing good ways to make these "work trips" coincide with meeting fellow bloggers and having the time of her life while doing it. I'm sure the little harlot is slurring her way through her second glass of wine and offering to show the good Dr. "where the horse bit her"! Alas, she has no shame.

And while the fact that she has no shame is an endearing trait that I love about her, the part that chaps my ass is the fact that I'm stuck at home, again. Snails get out of the house more than I do! I'm eating cold Taco Bell and watching M*A*S*H reruns while she has spent the evening having dinner, going dancing, and staggering drunkenly through a carnival and winning a goldfish and a mirror that says KISS or Motley Crue. I'm cleaning the cat box and she's soaking up fun, food, & friends.


At least she will be home tomorrow night and I can hear all about it. She might even let me see the pictures this time.

So goodnight Mrs. Alden, where ever you are!

And Dr. MVM, take good care of my baby and send her back to me.



  1. Your wife is a doll and Sparky and I both are in love with her. But we reluctantly let her go because she loves you and the kids so much. Alas, what might have been....(heavy sigh)

  2. She will always come home to you Doc, because she knows it is just way too hard to train a new husband.

    At least that's what my wife says...

  3. well you're coming to Canada, you can be a harlot with us girl Canbloggers

  4. She will def have to come back to you. Who could resist your leather pants?


  5. I agree with SkylersDad. Way, way too hard to train another.


  6. whoops, I dropped the ball on that one. Next time, I'll bring o'er some beer and maybe a copy of a James Bond flick.

  7. Doc, you need to one up Flannery and come out here to visit me and SkyDad!


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