Monday, April 13, 2009

I Have Entered The Twenty-First Century And I'm Giving Away Prizes!

*Editor's Note* Social Zymurgy; the culture of beer will be offering a new feature to all of it's readers.**

I was rummaging through my desk look for a pair of glasses (reading, not drinking) and found an enormous surplus of postcards. Some vintage, some naughty, some pulp fiction novel covers, some swanky, and they are all begging to be sent out. Each postcard will come complete with a cartoon, a joke, a beer recommendation tailored just to you and a horoscope, as well as being signed by the Editor/Staff. All that is required of you is to contact us at culture of beer at gmail dot com and give us a snail mail address to send it off to, but please don't give me your mother's address as she just wouldn't understand. This is open to as many readers as $10 worth of stamps will accomodate. After that, entries will be sent off on my next payday that doesn't involve my house payment. This is a small token of thanks to our loyal readers.

It was an idea born some time ago. On September 7th, '08 at 10:25 pm to be exact. I looked it up. I promised to send Skyler's Dad a bottle of beer, and while the cost of the beer was nominal, the cost of shipping wasn't, but a promise had been made and somehow it needed to be executed. I was reminded of this today when I stumbled upon this huge stack of postcards.

So while I can't send you all a bottle of beer, I can send along a carefully crafted and selected postcard that you will not be able to find anywhere else. I can send you a postcard that you would want to hang in your home. The kind of postcard that would inspire a tattoo. The kind of postcard that will inspire your grandchildren. A piece of postage that will give your life meaning and put that unmistakable spring in your step and a zest to your next social gathering. You will hereafter command respect as well as the best parking space, and the mass of humanity will part at your entrance and hang on your every word. These are the kind of postcards that you wouldn't use to scape poop off of your shoe if you could find something else, like a subscription card from a magazine or a jagged rock.

In short, a post card that makes a good bookmark or a nice wedge to stop that annoying rattle in your dashboard, free of charge.

Until this point in time there has not been way to contact the Editor or staff of Social Zymugy other than the comments section provided, as management is too enept to set up an email address to correct that problem. Now a good editor knows what tasks to deligate and which to tackle himself. Our IT staff was assigned this duty and provided this address in a timely manner (e.g. within two weeks). Several staff meetings were held but they always ended when the Editor said something lewd and wound up drinking alone.

Regardless, all those wishing a personal postcard should write to culture of beer at gmail dot com. The editor does ask one small favor in return. Please take a moment and vote for Nora O'Sullivan for the Fangoria's Spooksmodel and may you all have a great week!

The Editor,


  1. I am getting your box of videos carefully packed and am going to drop in a surprise for you! Don't worry about the beer, I know it is expensive to ship.

  2. I'm always down for free stuff. Unfortunately, my address is in pseudo-limbo with the whole moving thing...but as soon as I know where I'll be, I'll let you know.

    P.S. No junk mail. If you send me a credit card application, I'll be forced to start drinking more. :)

  3. I might play if I didn't still have about 50 boxes of my own crap about which I have no idea where it will all go. So enjoy those cards! And welcome to aught-nine!

  4. I was going to send you guys one when I sent that blog card! I want one. I'm heading over to the address to drop off my address.


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