Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Grandma's Little Secret


Flash Fiction Friday #10

The old camera had been in a box for decades, the pictures never developed, and now with the prints in his hand his blood ran cold from looking at the images that came from it. Here was Grandma in her prime and she wasn't handing out milk and cookies in these pictures. She was turning tricks with her ankles behind her ears or hanging onto the headboard for dear life. There was a mailman in the first photo who was delivering a package. In the second, a doctor was taking her temperature and he wasn't using a thermometer. Then came the gas station attendant who was there for a fill up and looked like he knew how to handle his pump. Each picture was a little more lewd than the last, but when he arrived at the last one of his high school English teacher, he gasped. Mr. Anderson wasn't there to grade her paper, but she did look like she had to stay after school for some naughty prank she had pulled. Here was Grandma in crisp black and white and she was ringing his school bell!

He always wondered why he managed to pass English in high school and never did any of the homework. He sat in shock. This wasn't the Grandma he knew. The Grandma who helped out at the soup kitchen and played cards on Sunday afternoon with the other old ladies in the neighborhood. Here was Grandma as a flagrant hussy who peddled her ass for money and favors! He shook his head as if to dismiss the perverse images from his mind. "I'll ask her about it when I go see her at the rest home on Tuesday," he thought as he shoved the pictures in the back of the desk drawer.

He glanced at his watch, "Time to go. Those ho's ain't gonna pimp themselves." He felt sheepish about seeing Grandma like that and the fact that in his line of work, he conned a lot of young pretty girls into doing the same thing. "Oh well," he consoled himself, "I guess I'm just keeping up the family business!"

13 comments:

  1. I am ashamed of this but it was all I could think of. I tried to think of something, anything else all weekend, but this was all I could come up with. I didn't even finish it until a half-hour before the deadline.

    I hope your's turned out better than mine and that you didn't have a Grandma like this!

    Doc

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  2. Love the vintage pron and I hate the fact that I somehow enjoyed this story. If you think about though, more than a few grandmas have led this life, one just always hopes that it isn't their own.

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  3. My question is what does Grandma do to wile away th etime at the rest home. Nice twist. and like Cormac, maybe I enjoyed it more than I should have.

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  4. Did you mean porn, Cormac, or is pron what you meant, and if you did mean pron, does that mean hipdaddy euphemisms alluding to certain sex acts which have heretofothwithily made doc feel dirty? If so, I concur, and Doc, welcome to the dark side. ;)

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  5. I'm still chuckling Doc! I know I shouldn’t have but I really enjoyed that...

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  6. I'm a little confused. Didn't everyone's grandma turn tricks to get by? It was the greatest generation after all.

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  7. PORN PORN PORN. I for one find no shame in having enjoyed this tale, but then again, I second FB's commentary.

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  8. I think everyone has a skeleton or two in their closets...
    I loved that and I'm not ashamed to say so!!!
    Great piece Doc.

    Regards, David.

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  9. Like everyone else I thought this was great, I enjoyed the Hell out of it. There are skeletons in everyone's closet.

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  10. You are so right, most of the time I don't pimp myself.

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  11. You've got the coolest grandma!

    Actually, I quite enjoyed the various euphemistic and job-appropriate terms.

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  12. Freida,

    "Pron" is used in lieu of "porn," so you don't get the freaks who are misled by seach engines. Just off of this comment page alone, Doc will get some loons with the words: "grandma," "porn," "twist," and "skeleton."

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  13. I was wondering where you got that picture. I just got an email that said it's Barrack Obama's mom but that seems far fetched.

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