Make Sure You Have Optical On Your Insurance!

Either that, or buy one of these cars and sit a little closer to the middle.

Doc

For A Minute There I Thought You Were Foolin' Around With My Wife

You Rascal! I thought I knew you. Turns out, you are just a player. Just like Chuck Conners. No wonder she digs you.


All this time I thought she just liked pottery class.

Doc

Do Not Invite Me to Your Parties...

If for no other reason than this: I sing and dance like Joe Cocker. I do. It was only at 11:53, Oct. 17th, 2007 that I made this discovery, but I can quickly see why I have rarely ever been invited to a second party thrown by the same person. Granted, the right music has to be playing, such as "Pink Cadillac" by either Bruce Springsteen or Aretha Franklin, "Detroit is Burning" by John Lee Hooker, or anything by The Refreshments, B.B. King, Tom T. Hall, or AC/DC; but sometimes, much like Tina Turner, "any old music will do."

I was cruising Youtube and came across this clip of Joe Cocker at Woodstock and it was as if the veil had been lifted from my eyes. It was like watching a home movie that I am in, but never remembering when it was shot, where it was, and who all these people are. I'm not sure, but I think Mr. Cocker's recollection of this show might be a little vague as well. Just a guess 'though.



Yep. That's me, right down to the air guitar. I could never sport those sideburns, but I've found enough change in the sofa to buy a tie-dyed T-shirt, and with any luck, my hairline will start to receed any day now. Hell, I could go as Joe Cocker for Halloween. I've got all of his moves down and didn't even know it.



Doc

P.S. The Author is available for birthdays, square dances, bar and bat mitvas, and even the opening of new malls, off ramps, and bridges. Contact us early as some dates have already been reserved.



**Editor's Note** In no way do we here at SZ,tcob endorce "getting stoned." This is a highly immoral and harmful act. Trust us. If you find that you are being assaulted by your friends and neighbors with small chunks of limestone, quartz, fieldspar, marble, sandstone, flint, or even lava rocks, there has been a poor choice or some bad judgement in your recent past. Look into that and stay off the drugs. **Editor's Note**

What Was Doc Dreaming About?

We've been watching a lot of Disney's Alice in Wonderland these days. It's Lucy's movie du jour...or rather movie du every jour. Don't get me wrong; I love this movie. But not as a daily feature of my life. In fact, I think it might be having a permanent affect on the brains in our household.

For example, the other night...it was probably 3 or 4 in the morning. I happened to rise to the surface of consciousness just long enough to look at the digital clock on the cable box. I was just shutting my eyes again when Doc muttered in his sleep: "Who are you?" in a perfect imitation of the Caterpillar. It actually sounded like this: Whooo aaaaaaaahh youuuuuuu? It kinda freaked me out.

I wonder what he was dreaming. Was he the Caterpillar? What do you think?