Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Do Not Invite Me to Your Parties...

If for no other reason than this: I sing and dance like Joe Cocker. I do. It was only at 11:53, Oct. 17th, 2007 that I made this discovery, but I can quickly see why I have rarely ever been invited to a second party thrown by the same person. Granted, the right music has to be playing, such as "Pink Cadillac" by either Bruce Springsteen or Aretha Franklin, "Detroit is Burning" by John Lee Hooker, or anything by The Refreshments, B.B. King, Tom T. Hall, or AC/DC; but sometimes, much like Tina Turner, "any old music will do."

I was cruising Youtube and came across this clip of Joe Cocker at Woodstock and it was as if the veil had been lifted from my eyes. It was like watching a home movie that I am in, but never remembering when it was shot, where it was, and who all these people are. I'm not sure, but I think Mr. Cocker's recollection of this show might be a little vague as well. Just a guess 'though.

Yep. That's me, right down to the air guitar. I could never sport those sideburns, but I've found enough change in the sofa to buy a tie-dyed T-shirt, and with any luck, my hairline will start to receed any day now. Hell, I could go as Joe Cocker for Halloween. I've got all of his moves down and didn't even know it.


P.S. The Author is available for birthdays, square dances, bar and bat mitvas, and even the opening of new malls, off ramps, and bridges. Contact us early as some dates have already been reserved.

**Editor's Note** In no way do we here at SZ,tcob endorce "getting stoned." This is a highly immoral and harmful act. Trust us. If you find that you are being assaulted by your friends and neighbors with small chunks of limestone, quartz, fieldspar, marble, sandstone, flint, or even lava rocks, there has been a poor choice or some bad judgement in your recent past. Look into that and stay off the drugs. **Editor's Note**


  1. We have similar dance styles. Several folks at a club once tried to shove a stick into my mouth to keep me from biting my tongue during the "seizure"...

  2. Doc, it's never a bad thing until the amp cuts out and you're left there twitching and gargling on your own. That's what separates the Springsteens from the William Hungs. And Mr. Cocker might look like he needs a ride home in the meatwagon, but he always knows where the microphone is.

  3. Too bad. I was going to ask you to perform at an on-ramp dedication I'm hosting, but apparently you only do off-ramps.


  4. Shoving a stick in your mouth is better then getting poked with it by an angry mob.


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