"I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh!"

While researching another article, I came across this company that sells Hufu (pronounced who-fu), a soy-based food designed to taste and feel like human meat. Their slogan is, "I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh" and their pitch is, "Ever really wanted to know what human flesh tastes like, but bothered by things like a moral code or hindered by these things called "laws?" Scared off by the black market?"

Now who in their right freakin' mind would want to purchase this stuff you ask?

The company says it was originally conceived of as a product for students of anthropology hungry for the experience of cannibalism but deterred by the legal and logistical obstacles." It also suggests that it's a great way for "cannibals who want to quit". They say it tastes like beef, only sweeter, and not like pork or chicken.

I am not making this shit up. Look here. Or the company website, here.

I don't know if this would be good for Thanksgiving, but it is vegan and kosher. Perhaps Bubs could serve this up for his next Halloween party, as he seems to go all out every year.

Oddly enough, the web page I found this on had an ad for "Wholesale Prices on All Anvil Items Fast Shipping from Factory to You!" and I thought to myself, "Who would buy an anvil through the mail?" Apparently the same people who are looking for a flesh substitute.

Ewww.

Doc

**Editor's Note** According to Wikipedia, this is False, but has been floating about the web for two years now. Leave it to me to be the rube that hears this two years later and go WTF? Thank You Anonymous.

Beerfest, a movie review.

It isn't often that I review a movie here at Social Zymurgy, but this film seemed appropriate. Brought to you by those funny guys of Broken Lizard Productions who also did one of Flannery's favorites, "Super Troopers".

I can honestly say, without any reservations whatsoever, that I, as an audience member, have never been pandered to in such a blatent manner, and I loved it. The only other film I can think of that even comes close was seeing Julie Andrews topless in S.O.B. while William Holden swilled bourbon and admired her off-screen.

Now I am rarely considered a viable demographic as far as Hollywood is conscerned. I just don't seem to fit in their market studies for some reason. But this silly movie "had me at hello" with Donald Sutherland playing the dying grandfather in his hospital bed gulping beers and playing with a doll named Po-Po. And while the cast is peppered with funny and talented actors, I have to say that the indomitable Cloris Leachman steals the whole movie as the tender, yet horny, Great Gam Gam. The scene with the summer sausage is one I could watch over and over again. The writers even gave her the best lines of the whole film, "If you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything!" and, "I always sleep better with a little sausage in me."

This scene is in the following clip, but you must be patient, as it is five minutes into it, but well worth the wait. Let's watch...

If you haven't seen this film, do so as a personal favor to me. Call up some buddies and put your favorite suds on ice and lots of them, as this film *WILL* make you thirsty. Don't watch this movie without beer! You could do irrepairable harm to your tongue, liver, kidneys, and reproductive organs.

And while you wait for Netflix to get off their ass and get this movie into your hot little hands, you may as well enjoy some tunes. Here is a song intitled "Beer" by Reel Big Fish.

Cheers!

Doc

For Dale, Opera Slippers.

These are opera slippers. I'm on my third pair and I ask for some every year for Christmas. My first pair belonged to my Dad and they came to me brand-new, still in the box, when he died. I was tired of ruining socks just padding around the house and socks alone weren't enough to keep my feet warm, so I started wearing his slippers. Oh the warmth, the comfort, and the impressive good looks. I always feel cultured just bumming around the house in them. They look like the kind of thing that Sherlock Holmes might have worn as he and Dr. Watson lounged around their Baker Street flat. If you don't own a pair, I would highly recommend them.

Doc