"I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh!"

While researching another article, I came across this company that sells Hufu (pronounced who-fu), a soy-based food designed to taste and feel like human meat. Their slogan is, "I Can't Believe It's Not Human Flesh" and their pitch is, "Ever really wanted to know what human flesh tastes like, but bothered by things like a moral code or hindered by these things called "laws?" Scared off by the black market?"

Now who in their right freakin' mind would want to purchase this stuff you ask?

The company says it was originally conceived of as a product for students of anthropology hungry for the experience of cannibalism but deterred by the legal and logistical obstacles." It also suggests that it's a great way for "cannibals who want to quit". They say it tastes like beef, only sweeter, and not like pork or chicken.

I am not making this shit up. Look here. Or the company website, here.

I don't know if this would be good for Thanksgiving, but it is vegan and kosher. Perhaps Bubs could serve this up for his next Halloween party, as he seems to go all out every year.

Oddly enough, the web page I found this on had an ad for "Wholesale Prices on All Anvil Items Fast Shipping from Factory to You!" and I thought to myself, "Who would buy an anvil through the mail?" Apparently the same people who are looking for a flesh substitute.

Ewww.

Doc

**Editor's Note** According to Wikipedia, this is False, but has been floating about the web for two years now. Leave it to me to be the rube that hears this two years later and go WTF? Thank You Anonymous.

"Doc, WTF?"

I have done something stupid and it takes a good friend to point it out to you. I wrote an article earlier in the week that was in poor taste, and for this I am truly sorry.

I work very hard to write the best stuff that I can for this blog and I always try to make it funny, thoughtful, but above all, a quality read that I can be proud of. I often fall a little short on the first two, but I don't compromise on the quality. If I don't think it is good enough, I let it collect dust in the draft file until I feel I can salvage bits of it for a good post. You are my reader and I owe you the best that I can muster, but this time I didn't.

I got drunk and wrote something stupid, but I published it anyway because I thought it was funny at the time. A twelve pack tends to hinder my mental filter as far as what is in good taste and lowers my personal bar of what I think is funny.

Don't get me wrong, I still think genitals are funny, but asking you about yours is in poor taste. A few of my loyal readers responded to the question that I posed, and for going along with my goofiness, I thank you. You are good sports, one and all.

The next day I reread what I had written and I was a little embarrassed. Not only was I vulgar and rude, but it was badly written and poorly thought out. I chuckled to myself as to what a dumb ass I can be at times and then I clicked on the comments. Most were funny, and a few even answered the question, but when I got to, "Doc, WTF?" I knew I'd fucked up. It takes a good pal to tell you when you are fucking up, and be grateful if you have a pal that will do that for you. Thank You.

If Flannery had been here, I would have run it past her and she would have looked me in the eye and said, "Are you out of your damn mind?" or something to that effect. Unfortunately, she was in Nashville, so I had another beer and published the dumbest thing I've ever written. I was drunk enough to convince myself that Da Vinci carved David, and I could ask you about your naughty bits for the sake of Science.

I was going to take the post down, but on consideration, I'll leave it stand. It will be the example I will use as a yardstick before I ever push the "Publish Post" button again. So if I ever get swell-headed and cocky, or just plain fuck up again, just remind me that it might be a question of anatomy.

Doc