Monday, August 20, 2007

People I would Like to buy a Beer

Dorothy Parker.


I wish I could drink like a lady,
One or two at the most,
Three and I'm under the table,
Four and I'm under the host.


Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful,
You might as well live.


The ladies men admire, I've heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light;
They'd rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints...
So far, I've had no complaints.


If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure I'll make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I obstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

"What fresh new hell is this?" she has been quoted as saying. I can't count how many times a day this phrase comes to mind. She was a class act and a good ol' broad. She reminds me so much of Flannery. I think she prefered bourbon or scotch, but I think it would be nice to sit down with her and a few cold ones and get her reaction to the state of the nation. I'm sure she wouldn't be kind, but damn would it be funny.

Here's to you Dear, and remind me to buy you four drinks.



  1. Didn't Flannery get a similar haircut recently?

  2. GKL- yes she did, and I find it quite fetching.


  3. Wonderful! "What fresh new hell is this?" I'll remember that, I'd never seen that quote before.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting, by the way. Very kind of you. I think things are beginning to look up, and I hope the same goes for you and yours.

  4. I did a post once "Historical wome to whom I would have given the business." She made the list.

  5. Bubs- always a pleasure to drop by the compound. Hope to meet you and yours in October.

    E.G.- "give the business". That is just too choice. I'd love to read more about women of the past that you would give the business. It would make a great regular feature. What about Harriet Tubman, Mary Todd Lincoln, or Queen Victoria?


  6. I always loved Ms. Parker and coincidentally, I commented using a variation of the 'fresh hell' a little while ago somewhere else. I didn't remember the 'new' being in there.

    I used to have a good collected works of hers that I loved, I wonder where it is?

    I never did see the film with Jennifer Jason Leigh although I really like her too. I am a loser. That is all.

    I, I, I.

  7. It's o.k. Dale, I didn't see it either.



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