Battle, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yeild to the tongue.
Beauty, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Befriend, v.t. To make an ingrate.
This sour-pussed bastard goes on and on, and I hope to make this a regular feature. Until then, "Don't Battle a Beauty, Befriend them."
Doc
Good one, Doc. This is the perfect bathroom book. When I was in about my 20's, I read The Devil's Dictionary a zillion times, and still associate it today with extended periods of loaf-pinching. I got a kick out of Bierce's quotes, always from some invented guy like Father Gassalasca Jape, or Jupiter Muke, or Sukker Uffro. One of my favourite definitions is SUCCESS: An unpardonable sin against one's equals.
ReplyDeleteBefriend is to make an ingrate?! When did this happen?
ReplyDeleteAmbrose Bierce was a caustic, pessimistic, mean-spirited person, but he did write an extremely funny dictionary. All of these definitions are to be taken with a grain of salt.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy!
Doc
hmmm... reminds me of a joke I heard recently-- "I never found the true meaning of happiness until I got married... of course, by then it was too late."
ReplyDelete