Cheers! I hope one of the frothy beauties, as pictured to the left, finds it's way into your hands this fine March 17th, because today is the day when all the world can celebrate being Irish. The other lucky few get to do it for the other 364 days a year.
You know why we celebrate this day don't you?
Well fetch ol' Doc a wee dram, and pull up closer to the fire an' I'll tell Ye.
Patrick was a captured by Irish raiders at the age of sixteen, around 394 A.D. and spent six years as a slave. (I was telling this story to the kids, and I asked the oldest if she knew what a slave was, and she said that it was a person who worked at misery and woe. Those are her words exactly.) After six years he escaped, returned to his parents in Banna Venta Berniae, joined the church, returned to Ireland, started the monestary system, which taught the populous to read, and copied some of the great works of antiquity that were generaly burned during the dark ages. Yeah, an all-around good guy.
(This photo was only included in this article as my image search for "Guinness" pulled up a photo of this woman who holds the Guinness Book Of World Records for Largest Breasts. She measures a whopping 153.67 cm. Have a Canadian friend of yours work out what that is in inches.)
I can only hope that you remembered to wear green today, as not wearing green can give random strangers the right to pinch you.
I hope you have a wonderful "wearing of the green" and you have the chance to raise a pint, but if you have to put it off 'til Friday, I'm sure that Saint Patrick would understand.
Your friend,
Doc
It's very important that breasts be measured right down to the closest frickin' 100th of a centimetre. I'm sure that's more for the measurer's benefit than the measuree's.
ReplyDeleteFor the metric-impaired, she's packing, over 5 feet of tittage. We Canadians are here to serve and protect.
DING-A-LING-A-LING!!
ReplyDeleteHello, it's your friendly, neighbourhood fact checkah!! She may be the Guinness book holder for biggest boobs, but A) they're fake and B) they're not the biggest.
according to THIS SITE, she's only the Guinness holder.
Norma Stitz has the biggest NATURAL breasts (70-48-52, with each breast weighing 28 pounds and a 48V bra size)
Chelsea Charms has THE biggest fuckin' augmented tits in the whole world (and they're still growing becaus she's got fluid-absorbing "string implants") with measurements of 153XXX-23-34 & each breast weighing in at 26 lbs (Cooper-- do th' conversion for us, wouldja' plz??)
and finally Lolo Ferrani has the ugliest fucking implants you've ever seen-- like goddamn party balloons glooed to her chest...
They should have given her a bigger certificate.
ReplyDelete