Flannery Rebuts

Doc is concerned that he is having a negative effect on me. He said "It turns out that according to her, I have been actively trying to drive her insane for ten years, not by my madcap behavior, or my drinking, but by my choices in movies. Again, according to her, I am responsible for introducing her to the FIVE WORST MOVIES EVER."

This is wrong. He is not driving me insane. I was trying to tell him how thankful I was that he made me watch a movie that in turn made me seriously consider puking. I want my boundaries pushed. I want to go there, if you will. And I won't go there if someone doesn't take me. I'm happy enough to watch Murder She Wrote, MASH and Zoolander over and over again. I am grateful for the warping I've received from his expert hands.

Allow me to kindly make a few corrections to Doc's previous post. The official top five worst movies I've ever seen, thanks to Doc:

1. Caligula: Pure debauchery. We didn't finish watching this one. I knew what was coming, having read The Twelve Caesars, but I gave it a shot anyway. Caligula is proof that, in order to warp me, you must first blindside me.
   
   
2. Kissed: The aforementioned "Tastful necrophilia movie". I don't care if it's the On Golden Pond of necrophilia movies; there is no way to make a necrophilia movie tasteful. It's too repulsive on so many levels.



3. Beerfest: I don't mind seeing a person chug a beer every now and then. But to watch people chug gallons of beer over and over again for two hours made me physically sick. It was a cumulative effect. I mean, I love the guys that made this movie; they also made Supertroopers, which was funny without being too gross. But ew.



4. Sin City: Canibalism, over dramatic voice overs, exploitation of women (especially young women) and the glamorization of thuggary. I walked out. See my review here.



5. Paint Your Wagon: I think when Lee Marvin sings, an angel dies. Pair him up with the equally tuneless Clint Eastwood and you might as well start packing for the apocolypse. This movie was vastly unfunny and made me feel headachy.

These movies went places I didn't want to go. I saw and heard things I didn't want to see. I became physically ill afterwards. It used to be that I mourned the loss of my innocence and time. But these days, I appreciate experiencing a story on more than just an intellectual level. So, when Doc blissfully grabs my elbow and explains that he's set aside time for us to watch a movie together, I trust him implicitly. I know whatever I'm going to see will change me, however slightly, forever and for the better. Yes, I am an accomplice in my own warping.

But I want Doc to know he's doing me a favor. He's helping me try on a new perspective. I may not like it. I may puke. But I will have been there with him. And there is no one better on this green earth to see a necrophilia movie with, let me tell you.

So thank you, Doc. For your ability to get me out of my rut and broaden my perspectives, whether they need broadening or not.

Flannery

Next up: The Five Best Movies I've Ever Seen, Thanks to Doc.