How To Avoid Looking Like An Idiot, part one

In social situations where alcohol is being consumed, never ever ask for another "drinky-poo" unless you want to sound like a drunken Margaret Dumont.



Doc

You Might Be An A**hole, Volume 1

Have you ever subject anyone to a dutch oven? Have you ever thought it would be funny to wait til your significant other comes to bed, turns out the lights and snuglles up and then fart and hold the covers over their head?

...You might be an a**hole. Just sayin'.

Naked Carpentry, by Roy Bentley

War And Peace, A Farce In One Act.

I made a "pie crust promise", easily made and easily broken. I can't deliver on my promise of a fifteen minute skit of "War and Peace". I spell English poorly enough, I don't need to tackle Russian. On my best day, I couldn't do better than this:





If you are running short of time, please feel free to skip to seven minutes and twelve seconds in, and watch from there. This is the gist of the story. Just remember: If the quantity drops below once every eight months, look into that.
Doc

Why Everyone Needs A George

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO THE GEORGES OF THE WORLD, BUT MOSTLY TO "poor george" , BY WAY OF THE MOST HONORABLE COASTER PUNCHMAN. YOU ARE BOTH GENTLEMAN OF THE FIRST ORDER. DOC.

Let's face it, everyone knows a George. I have an uncle named George, and I am willing to bet large sums of money that you know a George too. Much like John, Matt, Mike, and Harry, it is a safe bet that you know someone by this name.

I have been privileged to know a lot of people in my time, and correct me if I am wrong, but I have found that people, to a certain extent, fit their names. I have always found Brads, Muffys, and Dicks to live up to my expectations, while Matts, Mikes, and Chads were open to interpretation. There are some names, such as Jennifer, Loretta, Susan, Linda, and Cathy that deserve some looking into, while Roberta's, Edwina's, and Cindy's need to be skipped.

But of all the names that I could name that spark my interest, George is one of my favorites.

Have you ever met a George that wasn't worth getting to know? I haven't.

I take that back. I CAN think of one George that I wish I'd never heard of and that would be alright with me, but I think of him as more of a "w" than a George.

Every other George I could name has turned out to be a person of great quality. A person who is worthy of trust, a straight-shooter, and considerate, well-mannered, and charming in his or her own right.

Because of a Bub's interview, I have learned of another George to confirm my theory, which is the idea that everyone needs a George in their life. After extensive research (at least fifteen minutes worth), studies have found that people prosper with a good George in their life, but that should not to be confused with the george they have had in office for a number of years.

It is truly a short list of things that I am an expert on, but after a long time of reading my mother's Harlequin Romance novels and having a few romances of my own, I have come to the same conclusion as Coaster Punchman.

"George's Rock, and everyone needs a George"

Amen.

If you don't have one, look into that. It might do you some good.

I have a George of my own, but she goes by the name of Flannery, and I only call her George long after she is asleep and she starts to snuggle and snore.

The World needs more Georges.

Feel free to share your "George's" below, regardless what you call them. After all, the world could use more stories of love, if for no other reason than for instructional purposes.

Doc

A Poem Of Love

Beneath a planters moon,
My love and I do abide.
The stars of the Heavens stare down unblinkingly,
They cannot look away.
We are joined by a gentle breeze,
That has come to caress us and to celebrate the oldest dance of man.

The morning doves nestle in the pines above us,
And sing of a union immortal and wondrous.
The grass rises up to hold us tenderly,
As We draw together in this leafy bower.

All of Nature holds its collective breath,
As two mortals prepare to collide,
With a power greater than holds,
The planets in their eternal coil.

I draw my Lover closer and feel the beating of her heart,
The warmth of Her kiss; the gentle touch of Her hand.
I try to tell my Love of the feelings that overwhelm me,
She silences me with the soft touch of Her finger to my lips.

“More Rock, Less Talk, stupid!”

This is based loosely on a true story. Flannery actually looked me in the eye and said "More Rock, Less Talk! Get on with it stupid!" I've never heard a more loving phrase from anyone.

Doc